Bayou City Bosses’ jammer Death By Chocolate (DBC) opened up the first jam of the night taking lead jammer status and scoring a 4-0 jam. Rookie jammer Bobituary scored a 5-3 jam for the Bosses and the defending champions took a 9-3 lead early in the bout. Mistilla the Killa came out of the penalty box in the third jam, took lead jammer status and scored a 5-0 jam, and the Psych Ward Sirens had narrowed lead to 9-8.

The Bayou City Bosses defense shut out the team in red for the next six jams and took a 31-8 lead after the ninth jam. The Bosses run featured a 10-point and four-point jam by DBC. The Sirens’ DeMentia responded with a 10-0 jam in the tenth jam. DBC came right back with a 10-4 jam for the Bosses followed by an 8-3 jam by Mistilla the Killa narrowing the Bosses lead to 44-30.

The defending champs and the team in red traded scoring jam advantages until the Bosses’ Miss Lead scored a 5-0 final jam of the half giving the defending champions a 57-44 lead at halftime.

Death By Chocolate opened up the scoring in the second half with a 10-point jam for the Bosses for a 67-44 lead. However, the Psych Ward Sirens shut out the defending champions for the next five jams, highlighted by a 10-point jam by Mistilla and a four-point jam by Jekyll and Heidi. After the sixth jam the team in red had narrowed the lead to 67-58.

A 7-2 jam by the Sirens’ DeMentia was countered by a 9-1 jam by the Bosses’ Miss Lead. An 11-4 jam by Jekyll and Heidi further narrowed the Bosses lead to 82-77. A 2-0 jam by DBC and a 4-0 jam by Miss Lead moved the lead out to 88-77 for the Bosses. DeMentia countered with an 8-4 jam in the 11th jam of the final half narrowing the lead by the Bosses to 92-85.

Two scoreless jams set up a huge jam by the Sirens. Mistilla the Killa took advantage of a penalty to the Bosses’ jammer, and scored a big 13-4 jam. To the delight of the boisterous Sirens fans at Kicks Indoor Soccer and Gym, the team in red took its only lead of the night, 98-96. A 4-4 jam by DeMentia and Miss Lead in the 15th jam of the half set up the big jam of the night with the score at 102-100 in favor of the Psych Ward Sirens.

The Sirens’ jammer was sent to the penalty box, and Death By Chocolate would take advantage of the situation by getting three pack passes worth 14 points, the defending champs shut out the team in red. The Bayou City Bosses took a 114-102 lead. Miss Lead gained lead jammer status in the next jam and with the Siren jammer still in the penalty box, she reeled off a big 10-0 score putting the Bosses in front of the Psych Ward Sirens 124-102 with time for only one more jam.

Considering that DBC was jamming for the Bosses, and that the team in black had been stingy all night long on defense, many fans thought there was no way the Sirens could score enough points to tie the bout, yet alone win it. But holy ref whistles! DBC was sent to the penalty box with a major penalty early in the jam, and the Sirens were ready to slow the pack down to a near standstill. While the best Bosses’ jammers would not let this entirely happen, DeMentia did slip through for a pack pass for points.

But the drama in this jam was not over as DeMentia was sent to the penalty box and the ever dangerous DBC came out seeking to even up the score. Wow, was that another penalty on DBC that the fans in Houston saw? It was, and out came DeMentia from the penalty box with time to score some more points.

There was no way that Becky Booty, Nawty Dread Knocks, and Goldie BloXX of the Bosses were going to let DeMentia by for more points. And by now you might have guessed what would happen next. DeMentia was whistled back to the penalty box and Death By Chocolate came out of penalty box just in time to skate some very cautious jamming time as the final four whistles sounded. The Psych Ward Sirens had closed the margin a bit, but the final score in favor of the team in black of 124-107 made the Bayou City Bosses repeat Houston Roller Derby champions.

The leading scorer for the Bosses was Death By Chocolate with 61 points. She gained lead jammer status in her first ten jams, and was lead jammer 11 out of 13 jams skated. Other top scorers for the two-time champions were Miss Lead with 39 points, Bobituary with 13 points, and Babyface Assassin with 11 points. In a game where team blocking was a huge key defensively, top blockers for the champs were Rebel Ann, Daily Beatings, Nawty Dread Knocks, and Goldie BloXX.

Despite the powerful Bayou City Bosses’ defense, Mistilla the Killa led scorers for the Psych Ward Sirens with 57 points. Dementia added 31 points, and Jekyll and Heidi chipped in with 19 points for the Sirens. Leading blockers for the team in red included Sick Nick, Copperhead, Panty Raider, and Scarlet O’Hurtya.

In the first bout of the evening the Burlesque Brawlers used their experience and speed to defeat the Spindletop Roller Derby of Beaumont, Texas 221-30. Spindletop was skating in their first bout ever.

Savage Rose opened up the first period with a 14-3 jam for the Brawlers as Spindletop picked up its first three points ever by Slam. The Brawlers shut out the new league for the next eight jams and a 20-point jam by Sweet Commotion would highlight the team in purple’s 114-0 run. Claudia Van Damage scored 14 points for the Brawlers, while Stella GetEvens would put up a pack pass of her own for Spindletop and four points.

Spindletop got its first highlight of the night, as Wildcat took lead jammer status and scored a strong 11-4 jam at the end of the half. As Wildcat skated past the Brawler bench, opponents came out onto the track to slap her on the back and hug her for the accomplishment. The Brawlers went into halftime leading 132-18.

While Spindletop slowed down the scoring machine for the home team in the second half a little bit, the Brawlers tossed up seven double-digit scoring jams. The biggest jam of the half was when Brawler captain Starr Doom scored five points and handed the jammer helmet cover to pivot Speedo. She added an additional ten points until the refs whistled the jam over. In the tenth jam, retiring skater Wreck Hell Welch got lead jammer and scored 14 big points in her final jam as a Houston Roller Derby skater, while Wildcat would tack on eight extra points for Spindletop. The final jam of the night would see the retiring all star Savage Rose put up a ten–point jam finalizing a 221-30 score.

The top scorers for the Burlesque Brawlers were Savage Rose with 44 points, Sweet Commotion and Basket Casey each with 40 points, and Speedo with 35 points. Leading blockers for the Brawlers were Chainsaw Chic, Wreck Hell Welch, Chicken, and Sinister Sista.

The leading scorers for Spindletop Roller Derby were Wildcat with 19 points, and Holy Miss Moley and Ruby Ridikule with four points each. Top blockers included Breaking Dawn, Talking Headcase, and AndyCondDuh.

So with that being said, I think the biggest roller derby rivalry going is the Bayou City Bosses against the Psych Ward Sirens. Even when the Psych Ward Sirens were sweeping their way to the first HRD championship in 2006, the third place team (Bayou City Bosses) were still able to play them closely in bouts. In 2007 the Bayou City Bosses actually beat the Psych Ward Sirens in regular season competition, but the Sirens turned right around and beat the Bosses for the championship. Last year the Sirens beat the Bosses in the regular season bout, but the Bosses turned around and beat the Sirens in the championship bout.

So far this year the Sirens have beaten the Bosses in their first bout of the season. But in a round robin tournament game that was not completed because the fire marshall in Houston closed down the event with about ten minutes left in the game, the Bosses were leading by four points. You can just imagine what was being said at the after party by the two teams. The trailing team was pretty sure they would have come from behind and won. And they may have been right since the Bosses had skated a full 20 minute bout the game before.

Well this rilvarly (and this rivalry has gotten to the point of some serious psychological tactics being involved) will happen again this Saturday evening. And as it has the previous two years, this bout Saturday night at Kicks Gym will decide who will be the champions. When I get the rosters I’ll do the writeup, because I wouldn’t want to write about any skaters that might not be skating. But just in case I don’t get rosters, check out the bout information at http://www.houstonrollerderby.com.

Phil

In one double header bout, the Psych Ward Sirens will skate against the Bayou City Bosses in what has turned out to be the biggest rivalry of the league. Last year the Bayou City Bosses lost to the Sirens during the regular season, but turned around and won the 2008 championship bout. In 2007, the Psych Ward Sirens lost to the Bosses during the regular season, but turned around and won their championship bout against the Bosses. This rivalry has been fiercely competitive even before the Bosses contended with the Sirens the last two years for the league championship.

The Psych Ward Sirens feature Mistilla the Killa, DeMentia and Jekyll and Heidi as top jammers for this explosive team. Top blockers include Panty Raider, Carmen Geddit, and Tex Offender. Top jammers for the Bayou City Bosses include Death By Chocolate, Miss Lead, and Holla Pain Yo. Some of the top blockers on this very powerful blocking team include Nawty Dread Knocks, Goldie BloXX, and Becky Booty.

In the other bout of the night the HRD Burlesque Brawlers will host Texas Rollergirls’ Hotrod Honeys. The Hotrod Honeys are arguably the best league championship team in Texas, especially after winning the Southern Brawl tournament in San Antonio last October. Although the Burlesque Brawlers will be skating short a few skaters because of injuries, the Brawlers have a real surprise for Houston derby fans. They will be bringing back some retired skaters to skate this bout only. Catazon, Mary Choppins, and Chicken are scheduled to skate for the Brawlers at this time.

Top jammers for the Brawlers include Speedo, Savage Rose, and Chainsaw Chic. Featured blockers include Sinister Sista, Starr Doom, and Brat Poison. The Hotrod Honeys will counter with star jammers Rice Rocket, Morphine, and Lucille Brawl. Top blockers on this solid team blocking squad from Austin include Vicious van GoGo, Shank, and Cat Tastrophe.

Doors open at Kicks at 6 p.m. with the first bout scheduled to start at 7 o’clock. Tickets are $12 in advance and $15 at the door. To purchase tickets online and get more information on this bout and on Houston Roller Derby please visit their web site at http://houstonrollerderby.com/.

Rosters are subject to change on the day of the event due to illness or injury.

Psych Ward Sirens: Brand-Aid, Candy Codeine, Copperhead, Carmen Geddit, DeMentia, Hot Rod Bettie, Ivana B. Sedated, Jekyll and Heidi, Mistilla “The Killa”, Panty Raider, Punitive Damage, Scarlet O’Hurtya, Sick Nick, and Tex Offender. Bench personnel include Dirty Sanchez and Domin8TRIX.

Hotrod Honeys: Cat Tastrophe, Morphine, Lucille Brawl, Rice Rocket, Vicious Van GoGo, Shank, RadioActive, ICandye, Voodoo Doll, Dilla, Bang Crosby, Misti Molotov and Crackerjack; Dagger Deb-Bench Manager.

Phil Arnold,
Roller Derby Is Sport

DeMentia, in her first league bout since knee surgery last year, opened up the scoring run for the Sirens with a 15 points in the first jam while her teammates shut down the Brawlers.  Brawler Savage Rose scored eight points the next jam, but the Psych Warders had a 19-8 lead after just two jams.  Mistilla the Killa would score 11 points in the third jam while her team in red shut the opposition squad out, but the next jam Savage Rose again struck back for another 8-point jam.  The Sirens, however, countered with nine points by Jekyll and Heidi in the same jam gaining the Sirens a 39-16 advantage after four jams.

An eight-point jam by Jekyll and Heidi and a 13 point jam by Mistilla would highlight a Siren mini run and put them up 68-32 after eight jams; this bout was looking like it might become a blowout.  But the Brawlers shutout the team in red for the next two jams, and closed the margin to 68-41.  The Sirens defense then shutdown the team in purple for the next three jams, and moved the lead back out to an 81-41 lead.  An eight-point jam by Savage Rose, and a nine point jam by Sirens team captain Mistilla, with an additional nine points by the team in red would give the Psych Ward Sirens a commanding 103-54 lead at halftime.

Speed O opened up the second half with lead jammer status for the Burlesque Brawlers and in the third jam scored five more points as the team in purple chipped away at the Psych Warder’s lead.  But a big 12-point jam by DeMentia in the ninth jam would give the Sirens a 139-71 lead.

Savage Rose scored 13 points for the Burlesque Brawlers in the thirteenth jam, and the team in purple would out the Psych Warders for four consecutive jams to narrow the lead down to 153-108.  Speed O, the Brawlers all-star skating in her first league game for her new league team, scored 12 points, and Chainsaw Chic scored four points in the last jam of the game, and while the Burlesque Brawlers outscored the team in red 72-58 in the second half, the Psych Ward Sirens were satisfied with a final 161-126 victory as time ran out on the clock.

The leading scorer for the Psych Ward Sirens was DeMentia with 61 points. Mistilla the Killa scored 47 points, along with Jekyll and Heidi’s 39 points, and Carmen Geddit’s 14 points.  Leading blockers for the Sirens included Panty Raider, Punitive Damage, Tex Offender, and Copperhead.

Top scorers for the Burlesque Brawlers were Savage Rose with 60 points, Speed O with 34 points, Private Been Jammin with 16 points, and Chainsaw Chic with 12 points.  Top blockers for the team in purple included Starr Doom, Claudia Van Damage, Wreck Hell Welch, and Tempestua.

In the second jam of the final half, Karma Lucha received lead jammer status for the first time for Hurricane Alley, and four points came out of the jam.  But the Bosses struck back with a 21-point jam by Baby Face Assassin in the third jam.  Second year blocker Daily Beatings toke the jammer helmet cover to score 20 points on her only jam of the night, followed up by a 15-point jam by Tamityville Horror.  This rookie again scored 15 points to close out the final jam of the bout, as the Bayou City Bosses took a 269-8 victory over the squad from Corpus Christi.

Top scorers for the Bosses were rookies Baby Face Assassin with 44 points, BoBituary with 43 points, and Tamityville Horror with 35 points.  Team captain Death By Chocolate also had 35 points, although she only jammed twice in the bout.  Rebel Ann showed why she was recently added to the Houston travel team with nine key blocks in this bout, the leading blocking numbers for Saturday`s double header.  Other top blockers for the Bosses included Nawty Dreadknocks, Goldie BloXX, and Miss Lead.

High scorers for Hurricane Alley were ClumZaRella and Karma Lucha each with four points.  Top blockers for the Brass Knuckle Brawlers of Hurricane Alley included Annie Smokely, Iron Jenny Flint, Sugar, and ClumZaRella.

The next action for Houston Roller Derby will be April 18th at Kicks Indoor Soccer & Gym.

Phil Arnold,
Roller Derby Is Sport

The featured league bout will have the Psych Ward Sirens skating against the Burlesque Brawlers. The Psych Ward Sirens feature jammers Mistilla, DeMentia, and Jekyll and Heidi. Top blockers include Panty Raider, Carmen Geddit, and Tex Offender.  Some of the new Siren skaters include Scarlet O’Hurtya, and Punitive Damage.

The Burlesque Brawlers jammers include Savage Rose, Speed O, and Chainsaw Chic.  Top blockers include Starr Doom, Wreck Hell Welch, and Claudia Van Damage.  New skaters this year for the Brawlers include Private Been Jammin and Bush Wack Her.

In the other game of the double header, the 2008 league champion Bayou City Bosses will host the Hurricane Alley’s Brass Knuckle Brawlers from Corpus Christi.  Death By Chocolate will be one of the featured jammers, along with Miss Lead.  The Bosses are a very strong blocking squad featuring Nawty Dread Knocks, Goldie BloXX, Rebel Ann, Blindside and Daily Beatings.  This bout will be an opportunity to see several new skaters for the Bosses, skating against a fairly young team from Corpus Christi led by their captain Nina Cochina.

Doors open at Kicks at 6 p.m.  The first bout is scheduled to start at 7 o’clock.  Tickets are $12 in advance and $15 at the door. For more information please visit http://www.houstonrollerderby.com/.

Rosters are subject to change because of injury or illness on game day.

Burlesque Brawlers: Starr Doom, Claudia Van Damage, Savage Rose, Sinister Sista, Tempestua, Wreck Hell Welch, Princess Prozac, Creeping Beauty, Speed O, Chainsaw Chic, Bush Wack Her, Private Been Jammin and Scar Wars.

Psych Ward Sirens: Carmen Geddit, Copperhead, DeMentia, Jekyll and Heidi, Hot Rod Bettie, Ivana B. Sedated, Mistilla “The Killa”, Panty Raider, Punitive Damage, Scarlet O’Hurtya, Sick Nick, Tex Offender, Brand-Aid, and Candy Codeine.

Bayou City Bosses: Miss Lead, Death By Chocolate, Nawty Dread Knocks, Goldie BloXX, Rebel Ann, Blindside, Daily Beatings, Legsibtionist, BoBitchuary, Babyface Assassin, and Tammityville Horror.

Hurricane Alley Brass Knuckle Brawlers: Nina Cochina, Rainbow Spite, Iron Jenny Flint, Ann Droid, Bruise McGee, ClumZaRella, Thorn, Foxy StarLite, Volatile Vixen, Karma Lucha, and Meta, and I-Wanna.

Phil Arnold,
Roller Derby Is Sport

The visting Hurricane Alley Roller Derby from Corpus Christi kicks of the new season of Houston Roller Derby. New Venue: Kicks!

The outcome was

67 Bosses
76 Sirens

assuring a rematch between the two teams in the finals next month.

Note: See the comments to a correction/clarification to a misstatement during the podcast.

Thanks, as always to cjacks for the bumper music.

76 Psych Ward Sirens
77 Machete Betties

Thank again for the cjacks for the backing music.

The Betties and Sirens opened up the game by scoring seven points each in the first jam. But after another seven point jam by Chain Saw Chick, and a three point jam by Miss Lead, the Machete Betties took a 17-7 lead at the end of the fourth jam. 2007 MVP Mistilla the Killa came back with a 10 points in the fifth jam to tie it up. The game was still tied at the beginning of the ninth jam when Miss Lead scored ten more points to Carmen Geddit’s four points, and the team in Camouflage took a 35-29 lead. A five point jam by Scarlet O’Hurtya and a four point jam by Chainsaw Chick moved the halftime lead out to 44-29 in favor of the Machete Betties.

After a huge first jam of the second half by Betties all star The Prosecutor, when she scored 12 points while the Sirens were shutout, the Psych Ward Sirens began their astounding comeback to make up the 27 point difference. Mistilla the Killa, who was nursing a sore knee suffered in the Roll For a Cure tournament in May, only skated twice in the first half and scored 17 of her team’s 29 points. She jammed six times in the second half and picked up 34 more points. The Sirens’ blockers stepped up with some really tough defense and the team only allowed ten points in the next seven jams while picking up 31 points: the lead was down to 66-60.

In the next jam there was a scoring controversy. Originally Scarlet O’Hurtya was given eight points to Mistilla’s six points, when Mistilla was lead jammer. However after a long discussion between the refs, both captains, and the scorekeepers the Machete Betties points were reduced to three points for the jam. The Sirens had officially closed the gap to 69-66. In the next jam Miss Lead put pressure on Siren lead jammer Panty Raider, who cut the jam off with neither team scoring any points.

The game came down to the last two jams, with a little more than two minutes left in the game. In the 11th jam, Mistilla broke out for lead jammer, followed closely by The Prosecutor. Mistilla hit into the pack first followed by The Prosecutor. Mistilla ended the jam, with each jammer being awarded five points. With roughly 50 seconds left in the game Mistilla, jamming again on the final jam, broke out of the pack again with lead jammer status, closely followed by Miss Lead. She stayed within five feet of Mistilla who again made it through the pack. When the clock ran out she had put up five more points. But Miss Lead was officially given three points, and the official score was the final 77-76 on the scoreboard. The celebration began in earnest for the Machete Betties; they had picked up their first win of the season, and against the defending HRD champion Psych Ward Sirens.

Top scorers for the Machete Betties included The Prosecutor with 24 points, Miss Lead with 21 points, and rookie Chainsaw Chic with 14 points, with rookie Scarlet O’Hurtya chipping in 10 crucial points. Top blockers for the Betties included Major Mayhem, Becky Booty, and BushWackher.

The leading scorer for the Psych Ward Sirens was the amazing Mistilla who put up 51 points of the defending champs’ 76 points. Panty Raider added 16 points, and Carmen Geddit chipped in with eight points. All individual scoring is unofficial. Top blockers for the Sirens included Mary Choppins, Crasher and Tex Offender.

The first jam opened with the Bombshell Brigade’s Harassiz Mine moving out to two pack passes and outscoring Savage Rose 8-7 even though the Burlesque Brawler captain had gained lead jammer status. Mona Bruis’r followed up with a nine-point jam, and the team from Dallas had a 17-13 lead.

However, Savage Rose countered with a nine point jam in the fourth jam of the game, after the officials signaled a split pack, and let her pass the remaining three Brigade’s blockers to gain a 22-19 lead for the home team. Savage Rose then scoreed eight points in the sixth jam, followed by a nine point jam in the 8th jam as the Brawlers widened their lead to 44-35. The team in red chiped away at the lead and by halftime the Burlesque Brawlers were up 58-53 in a game that could go either way.

A seven point jam by Harassiz Mine open up the second period and the game was narrowed down to a 62-60 margin. But Catazon countered with a nine point jam, and Savage Rose followed up with a nine point jam in the forth jam of the second half, and the team in purple took an 83-64 advantage. With Harrasiz Mine jamming against Catazon, the most controversial jam of the bout unfolded.

Harrasiz Mine scored nine points in the jam while Catazon earned four, but during the jam in turn four, Catazon literally pulled Bombshell Brigade Captain Vanna Rockin’ down to the floor, initiating a fight. Both skaters were ejected, and the controversy was just starting. Catazon clearly pulled the blocker Vanna Rocker down from behind. While both may have been ejected for fighting, clearly Catazon was a jammer and Vanna Rockin was a blocker.

No jammer was made to serve Catazon’s ejection penalty. In fact, Savage Rose was on the track for the beginning of the next jam and she scored four points, while Harrasiz Mine scored another four points for the team from Dallas. The break for the fight was lengthy, and as might be imagined, the debate from both teams with the officials was heated. For some in the audience it appeared that Catazon could have had a substitute jammer not only serving a major penalty for pulling down Vanna Rockin’, but possibly another major for fighting. That would have been a two-minute penalty for the home team with a jammer in the penalty box. But again, a jammer was out on the track for the Burlesque Brawlers the next jam, and the Bombshell Brigade captain (the second leading team scorer during the season) was kicked out of the game, and away from her bench so she could not be involved in strategic decisions.

For the Burlesque Brawlers replacing Catazon, their second leading scorer, was not an easy situation. They still held a 14-point lead, but some of the squad from Houston was needed to cover for Catazon’s absence. Miss Treatment scored 12 of her 15 points in the second half after the ejection, helping maintain the Brawler lead. Savage Rose continued to skate an amazing game for the Brawlers. The Brawlers outscored the Brigade 21-8 in the middle three jams of the final half, and the lead was extended to 112-85. The Bombshell Brigade only cut into the lead a little, and for some reason their leading scorer did not jam in any of the last six jams of the half.

There is not much doubt who was the star of the game was for the Burlesque Brawlers. Savage Rose scored 77 points (unofficially) and jammed every other jam after Catazon was ejected. Catazon was the second leading scorer (28) for the home team. Miss Treatment added a crucial 18 points for the Burlesque Brawlers to round out the scoring. Top blockers for the Burlesque Brawlers included Brat Poison, Raven Knockahoe, and Starr Doom.

The top scorer for the Bombshell Brigade from Assassination City was Harrasiz Mine with 48 points. Rookie Mona Bruis’r followed up with 21 points for the team in red. Brandy Danger, skating in only her 2nd bout ever, chipped in 12 points for the team from Dallas. Top blockers, besides Harrasiz Mine and Mona Bruis’r, included Claire Voyant, Rehabigail and Mary Ate Ashley.

The next action for Assassination City will be on June 21st at home in Mesquite, Texas with a derby double-header. The next action for the Houston Roller Derby, after they get home from competing at East Coast Extravaganza in Philadelphia, will be against the Angel City Derby Girls on June 28th. For more information on either of these bouts visit Assassination City’s web site at www.acderby.com/cms or Houston’s web site at www.houstonrollerderby.com.

Phil Arnold,
Austin, Texas

Assassination City Roller Derby (Dallas, Texas) Bombshell Brigade
vs
Burlesque Brawlers (1-2)

Psyche Ward Sirens (1-0, 1-1)
v
Machete Betties (0-2)

(off this month – Bayou City Bosses (2-0, 2-1))

I talked to the Colonel briefly, but he didn’t make much of the podcast, only a cameo at the end.

April Bouts

126 Hell Marys (Austin)
83 Sirens

75 Bosses
37 Brawlers

The difference I believe can be the fans of Houston, being loud and proud of their Houston Roller Derby skaters. Sunday night in Austin, I was talking with one of the skaters who last year was in Houston at the Governor’s Cup. I asked her why she was so hyper at the end of the bout against Houston and she said, “Have you ever been booed by 2,000 fans?” Well, I don’t think there were 2,000 fans that night, and I don’t think every fan was booing her, but that was her perception.

In a way, I think this is a compliment to the Houston fans. They were loud and very supportive of their hometown skaters. I think the Hell Marys, especially their younger players, have not played in a large venue like Verizon Wireless Theater. And they certainly don’t know how loud and crazy the Psych Ward Sirens fans can be at Verizon. Throw in some support from other league fans, and I think the fans can help make a 20- or 30-point difference by encouraging their home team skaters.

That’s just my opinion of course, but I hope all you Houston fans will make the special effort to show up and support your local team and show the folks from Austin just how great the Houston fans are.

Phil Arnold,
Austin, Texas

162 Sirens
80 Brawlers

thecolonel@colonel.com

The first game of the night between the Bosses and the Betties started off tied 17-all in the fourth jam. But team Captain Miss Lead would score four points for the Betties while Goldie BloXX was picking up a single point in the fifth jam as the machete wielders would take their first and only lead of the game. The team in black would counter with a 9-0 jam with Holla Pain Yo jamming, and rookie Lu Animal would follow up with another 9-point jam while the Bosses defense would shut out the Betties, putting the Bosses up by 36-21. Another 7-point jam by Holla Pain Yo and 7-point and 8-point jams by Death By Chocolate would expand the Bosses lead at half time to 75-42.

The Machete Betties would come out of the half with a new attitude and would control the offense machine that had exploded in the first half. The team in green camouflage would limit the Bosses to one big jam in the half, an 8-point jam by Death By Chocolate, and keep it close only being outscored 38-34 in the second half. Largely the very physical team Betties would play the defensive minded Bosses evenly in the last period.

Both teams would have a lot of rookies in action and both teams would show flashes from their new players that indicate a promising future for the Houston Roller Derby league. But the veteran all stars mainly controlled the pack, and therefore the game. Top scorers for the Bayou City Bosses were Death By Chocolate with 49 points, Holla Pain Yo with 22 points, and both Goldie BloXX and Lu Animal scoring 19 points. Top overall blockers were Naughty Dread Knocks, Goldie BloXX and Jule B. Sorry for the Bayou City Bosses. All stats are
unofficial.

The top scorers for the Machete Betties were The Prosecutor with 30 points, with Miss Lead and Major Mayhem contributing 19 points. Top blockers were Becky Booty, Tawdry Hepburn, and Royal Tease. Top blockers are based on unofficial overall blocks statistics, which include Jammer Take Outs, Knockdowns, Effective Blocks, and Offensive Assist blocks.

The second game of the night would see the defending champions assert their claim for a third championship in a row in Houston. The game was fairly close until Mistilla the Killa would assert her 2007 league MVP form and score eight points in the fourth jam, and the Psych Ward Sirens would take a 12-5 lead that would continue to expand as the night went on. Mistilla would add on a 13-point jam, followed up by an 8-point jam before the end of the half. The Sirens would take a 71-42 lead with Mistilla having scored 38 points in the half.

In the second half, the numerous all star blockers for the Sirens would help to wear out the Burlesque Brawlers, a hustling team with a large number of second year players. The Psych Warders would score in every single jam of the second half, except for the last jam. In the meantime, the team in red and black would be throwing seven shutout jams against the Brawlers. The high point jam of the night, a 15-point jam by DeMentia, would also be the most controversial jam of the night. Brawler jammer Catazon would score 4 points during that jam, and protest that there was now way she was passed three times, yet alone her pack being passed three times for scores. She would be sent to the penalty box for arguing. Another scoring dispute would occur four jams later, and before the team in purple could get a jammer on the track, the refs would start the next jam. The Brawlers would skate with only two skaters on the track, with two blockers being in the box and the jammer on the bench. Catazon would end the jam by knocking down Siren jammer Tilley Time Bomb, and raising her arms in triumph as her team only allowed four points despite the long defensive odds in the two minute jam. It was a moral victory, but not enough to stop the Psych Ward Sirens from scoring 91 points in the second half.

Mistilla was the star of the game scoring 46 points in the second half for an unofficial 84 total points. DeMentia followed up with 43 points for the Psych Ward Sirens. Panty Raider would add 16 points for the Sirens. Leading blockers for the Psych Ward Sirens would be Crasher, Mary Choppins, and Carmen Geddit.

The top scorer for the Burlesque Brawlers would be Savage Rose with 40 unofficial points, followed by Catazon who scored 21 points even though she was skating with a broken toe, and AudioMind who chipped in with 17 points. Top blockers for the Brawlers would be Raven Knockahoe, Sinister Sista, and Starr Doom. Again, all stats are unofficial.

On a personal note, one of the leagues top pivots Tawdry Hepburn may have skated her last game. She will go on a leave of absence and will probably retire. She is not a very big skater, but her skating technique is excellent and she has really helped her teams control the pack. But as strong of a skater as she may be, she is one of the nicest people in derby. She will be missed by skaters and fans alike in roller derby.

Thanks to Mother Dirt, Joe Momma, and Son of Booty for helping to provide unofficial blocking statistics after the bout!

Phil Arnold,
Austin, Texas

The Colonel has a quick review of the 2007 Championship game between the Bayou City Bosses and the Psych Ward Sirens wherein the Sirens come out victorious.

thecolonel@colonelpod.com

Our picks that we’ll certainly catch some ribbing for:

Bill Shirley
Betties 99 – Brawlers 70
Colonel
Betties 92 – Brawlers 80
Bill Shirley
Bosses 90 – Sirens 80
Colonel
Bosses 112 – Sirens 106

thecolonel@colonelpod.com

correction: see comments

The Colonel discusses the Sirens (3-1) defeat of the Betties (1-3). Blabs for a while, then reminds you about a fundraiser luau at the West Alabama Ice House.

trailer music:
Big Robert Smith with the El Orbits & Friends – Live @ Houston’s Continental Club
Sunday, August 26, 3pm – 6pm
CD Release and Listening Party
Sig’s Lagoon, 3714 Main Street

thecolonel@colonelpod.com

thecolonel@colonelpod.com

The Psych Ward Sirens (2-1) defeated the Burlesque Brawlers (0-3) in a playful and fun-to-watch bout. The Colonel and Bill discuss upcoming mid-season try outs, and the Battleground Roller Derby Bout this coming Sunday.

thecolonel@colonelpod.com

137 Psych Ward Sirens (1-1)
116 Machete Betties (1-1)

Note to self: turn off the ringer on the phone when recording.
Email us: thecolonel@colonelpod.com

The Colonel pics the Betties to overwhelm the young Brawlers, and the Bosses to closely edge the undefeated Sirens.