Bill Shirley discusses May’s bout with The Colonel who missed it.

73 Burlesque Brawlers
64 Machete Betties

86 Texas Rollergirls’ Honky Tonk Heartbreakers
49 Bayou City Bosses

The Machete Betties opened up the first half with authority gaining a 17-8 lead after five jams. In the sixth jam, Audiomind scored eight points while Panty Raider (as Viet Thong) was scoring four to narrow the lead down to five points. During the rest of the half, both teams would play strong defense, and the Machete Betties would go into halftime with a 30-26 half. It looked like the short-handed Betties might be able to pull off a surprising victory.

The Brawlers came out in the second half with a 4-point jam by Audiomind, followed by a 3-point jam by Savage Rose to take their first lead of the game. In the third jam, The Prosecutor countered with a 7-point jam to take the lead back for the Betties 37-33. The machete wielders held the lead until Burlesque Brawler Captain Savage Rose scored eight points, while Panty Raider was scoring two points in the seventh jam of the second half.

Then starting in the ninth jam, the Brawlers earned four lead jammers in a row and outscore the Betties 13-2. It was the key run of the game, with the team in purple holding a 14-point lead going into the last jam with just a little under two minutes left in the bout. The Prosecutor skated out to the jammer line, and broke out of the pack, scoring a grand slam for five points, but the clock ran out on her as the Burlesque Brawlers claimed their first regular season victory of 2008.

Audiomind lead the Brawlers scoring with 33 points. Savage Rose scored 31 points, 26 in the second half, and Catazon added nine crucial points. Top blockers for the team in purple were Raven Knockahoe, Sinister Sista, and Creeping Beauty.

The Machete Betties were led in scoring by The Prosecutor with 32 points. Miss Lead added 14 points, and Panty Raider chipped in with 10 points for the Betties. Top blockers for the team in camouflage included Major Mayhem, Becky Booty, and All Beef Patty (aka Mary Choppins of the bye-week Psych Ward Sirens).

Then the team from Austin went on the game’s most decisive run, gaining lead jammer status nine out of the last ten jams and outscoring the Bosses 30-3 at the end of the half.

The Bayou City Bosses would turned momentum of the game around in the second half, gaining lead jammer status ten times to the Honky Tonk Heartbreakers’ five lead jams. Even so, a big ten-point jam by Belle Starr with the Bosses’ jammer in the penalty box would seal the deal in the twelfth jam of the final period. It was her only time jamming for the night, and the biggest scoring jam of the bout for both teams, and it was in front of Belle Starr’s hometown crowd.

Bosses Captain Death By Chocolate made perhaps the most amazing individual play of the night. Late in the game, DBC was jamming and working her way through the pack when she came up against Heartbreaker pivot Friction VixXxen, who is also from Houston originally. Down the back stretch of the track they went, with DBC needing to get by the pivot to break out of the pack. DBC literally jumped from right-to-left sideways, got by her, and gained lead jammer status.

One of the Texas Rollergirls announcers said something to the effect that in five years of roller derby, that was one of the best derby moves he had seen. After the game, Friction VixXxen said, `I knew it was coming, but I just couldn’t quite get her.’ Needless to say, the crowd at Verizon roared their approval as Death By Chocolate went on to score three more points for her team.

Desi Cration had a monster game for the Heartbreakers, scoring 16 points, and the most blocks for her team according to preliminary blocking statistics from the HRD stats crew. Mary Lou Threaten also scored 16 points for the team from Austin. Other top scorers for the Honky Tonk Heartbreakers included Yellow Die with 15 points, and Olivia Shootin’ John with 13 points. Top blockers included Belle Starr, Friction VixXxen, and Agatha Friskey for the Honky Tonk Heartbreakers.

Death By Chocolate had an impressive game for the Bayou City Bosses. She got lead jammer status six out of nine times jamming, four out of five jams in the second half, and was one of her team’s top blockers, as well as scoring 16 points. Holla Pain Yo was the top Bosses scorer with 18 points. Goldie BloXX was the third leading scorer, and also one of the top blockers for her team. Other top blockers included Nawty Dread Knocks, Rosie the Ribhitter, and Chicken for the Bayou City Bosses.

The next action for Houston Roller Derby at Verizon Wireless Theater will be Sunday June 8th, when the Burlesque Brawlers will host the Bombshell Brigade of Assassination City, and the Psych Ward Sirens will skate against the Machete Betties.

Phil Arnold,
Austin, Texas

The Heartbreakers are about to visit again, so I thought you might want to re-listen.

70 Hot Rod Honeys – 79 Hell Marys
78 Hustlers – 25 Honky Tonk Heartbreakers

The Colonel checks in from Marfa after a stop in Austin for the Texas Roller Girls’ Championship – Hell Marys win. He discusses a controversial loss of jammer-insignia while skating.

Despite the use of 1970s technology, it’s almost comprehensible.

thecolonel@colonelpod.com

92 Hell Marys
50 Dallas Derby Devils

73 Hustlers
26 Honky Tonk Heartbreakers

Background of this podcast provided by Rocrament.

HRD’s Knockers 92 – Austin’s Honky Tonk Heartbreakers 82

We review the June 17 bout of Houston’s second travel team v Austin’s Honky Tonk Heartbreakers.

Sun Jun 17, 6pm
HaRD Knocks v Alamo’s Las Tejanas
HaRDer Knocks v Austin’s Honky Tonk Heartbreakers