A desperate rally by the Dirty South Derby Girls fell short Saturday night as the Dallas Derby Devils defeated the Atlanta Rollergirls squad 115-108 in Grand Prairie, Texas.

Dallas opened up the first jam scoring a pack pass by jammer Roxie La Roo. Then despite not gaining lead jammer in the next jam, The Shocker would outscore the opposing Atlanta jammer 13-5, and DDD took a 17-5 lead. Hot For Teacher scored 12 points in the third jam as Dallas began a 32-15 run early in the bout; Dallas took a 49-20 lead at the end of the seventh jam.

The Dirty South Derby Girls would begin a mini-run of their own as they outscored Dallas 24-8 led by Thunder Enlightenin’s nine-point jam in the tenth jam of the first half, along with another nine-point jam by JuJu in the 14th jam. The score was narrowed to 58-45. But DDD would come back with the last 12 points of the final three jams and Dallas took a 73-49 lead into the half.

Dallas opened up the second half on a seven-point jam by Roxie LaRoo, and proceed to outscore Atlanta 19-4 in the opening four jams of the second period. This gave Dallas a 39-point lead. But The Dirty South Derby Girls began a furious rally the next jam with 11 points scored by jammer Thunder Enlightenin’. The Merchant of Menace followed up with an eight-point jam and Atlanta narrowed the lead to 96-72.

Dallas and the team from Georgia continued trading jam point advantages, and then the Derby Devils started getting into penalty trouble. The Dirty South Derby Girls initially took control of the front blocking pack early in the last jams, and then isolated DDD skaters at the back of the pack, slowing down the blocking pack. Juju scored ten points in the thirteenth jam of the half, and Alassin Sane finished off a 55-23 rally by Atlanta narrowing the game to a seven-point lead by Dallas. The clock ran out before the 15th jam could start and somehow the Dallas Derby Devils had survived the rally that featured the team from Georgia putting the bout in doubt even though Atlanta never had a lead.

Top scorers for the Dallas Derby Devils were Hot For Teacher with 36 points, Roxie La Roo with 29 points, and Ingersoll Rand with 22 points. Top blockers for Dallas included Scary Cherry Bang Bang, Rink Panther, The Shocker, and Keltic Kamikaze.

Top scorers for the Dirty South Derby Girls included Thunder Enlightenin’ with 27 points, JuJu with 23 points, Alassin’ Sane with 21 points, and the Merchant of Menace with 12 points. Leading blockers for the Atlanta Rollergirls were Queen Loseyateefa, Sk8 Outa Compton, and Tanya Hyde.

(All individual scoring is unofficial.)

Phil Arnold,
Roller Derby Is Sport

Also, the 2008 season is about to kick off! We hope to see you there, and hopefully you’ll hear from us again soon.

If you’re not enjoying that bout with The Colonel, you can join Bill Shirley in Houston at party.shirl.com. All are welcome, bring a friend. Skates welcome.

57 – Alamo City Las Tejanas
144 – Assassination City Special Ops

114 – Houston Roller Derby Hardknocks
90 – Dallas Derby Devils Travel Team

141 – Texas Roller Girls (Austin)
52 – Assassination City Special Ops

Stay tuned for the second half of the Governor’s Cup Review!

thecolonel@colonelpod.com

There was no coverage of the final scores, since it went so late. Just coverage of the event.

Here’s the article:

Roller derby all-stars hit to win

Sept. 17, 2007, 3:10PM
By CAROLYN FEIBEL
Copyright 2007 Houston Chronicle
carolyn.feibel@chron.com

Recipe for a roller derby, Texas-style: take a rockabilly fashion sense, skate punk athleticism, and a feminist, grass-roots work ethic. Put the whole thing on old-school quad roller skates, add a dollop of nostalgia, and you have the latest incarnation of a uniquely American sport.

On Sunday, five all-women teams from Texas met up for the Governor’s Cup championship bout at Verizon Wireless Theater. Spectators cheered the local all-star team, the “HaRD KNOCKS,” as they faced off against last year’s champion, the Dallas Derby Devils.

In flat track derby, five skaters¹ from each team circle in a “pack,” trying to block and slam opponents to prevent the opposing “jammer” from scoring by passing the pack. It’s rough, fast and can send skaters skidding into the fans.

“It’s fun to watch somebody come around the corner and give someone a clean shot up into the crowd,” said Charlie Marken, 51, of Pearland.

Marken and his wife are season ticket holders for the Houston league, which is in its second season.

“We came just as a joke, kind of to see, but we got to know some of the girls,” he said.

Marken said he likes the amateur authenticity of roller derby. Pro football and baseball, with its swollen salaries and steroid scandals, have turned him off.

“These girls are just out there for the love of sport,” Marken said.

In Sunday’s first bout, the “Assassination City Special Ops” team from Dallas beat “Las Tejanas” from San Antonio, 144-57. Houston’s own HaRD KNOCKS were slated to compete later Sunday evening. An Austin team and another Dallas team also competed.

Technically a team sport, roller derby offers each skater lots of chances to flaunt her individual style through the adoption of a derby nickname and persona.

Player names such as Mary Choppins, Choko Ono, Grudge Judy, and Strawberry Deathcake indicate the strange mix of flirty aggression and cultural playfulness that defines the sport.

“You definitely want a pun, something that plays off something else, but something that also defines you as a skater,” said Stacy Williams, 35, a black player who chose the name “Death by Chocolate.”

“It’s such an aggression release,” Williams said. “You get on your skates and you hit people and people hit you and you learn you can take that.”

The “hits” are really regulated body checks, with strict rules defining which body parts can be used in a block. Tripping, pushing and fighting are strictly prohibited by a graded penalty system.

The women seem to enjoy the opportunity to be tough, while remaining unabashedly sexy.

“It’s a fresh sport and you see hot, powerful women on wheels,” said Misty “Mistilla the Killa” Moody. The 31-year-old is a lighting designer by day and the league’s trainer by night.

Some skaters came to the sport from the rockabilly or punk music scene, while others simply are athletes looking for a new extreme sport. What they all have in common, however, is a “slight insanity,” said Joy Wallis, who plays as “Tinkerhell” for the Austin league. The national derby revival began in Austin in 2001, and has grown to more than 40 all-female leagues across the country.

“You have to be willing to sacrifice your body, your life,” Wallis said. “It’s about finding that little thing you didn’t know you had inside and getting it out there.”

¹ – I always expect some odd factual errors in media coverage. This is a minor one. I’d count it as: there are 4 skaters from each team in the pack, while the 5th (the jammer) tries to lap them.

Elle McFierce and Goldie Bloxx join The Colonel and Bill Shirley in discussion about the upcoming Governor’s Cup. Five teams will be competing all day for the trophy.

thecolonel@colonelpod.com

Cached here for posterity:

Violent femmes

Women’s football and roller derby leagues give sports fans something else to cheer about

By MARK LOWRY
Star-Telegram staff writer

For a region that prides itself on athletics, there aren’t a whole lot of chances to see women’s professional team sports in North Texas. Strangely, we don’t have a Women’s United Soccer Association team or a Women’s National Basketball Association team.

What we do have, though, are a three-time championship Women’s Professional Football League team, the Dallas Diamonds, whose home season kicks off this week; and two roller derby leagues, both of which are winding down their seasons.

So now is a good time to look at the two rough-and-tumble contact sports, which star heavily padded women who aren’t afraid to break a nail — not to mention an opponent’s bones and/or spirit.

Derby does Dallas

The leagues: North Texas has two roller derby leagues. The Dallas Derby Devils, founded in 2004, play at Forum Roller World in Grand Prairie; the Assassination City Roller Derby is in its second season at a Garland rink. Both leagues are made up of several teams, with players from all over the Metroplex, and are members of the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association (visit www.wftda.com).

The teams: For this story, we focused on the Derby Devils, which claim to be the largest flat-track derby league in the South, with about 100 active skaters. This Saturday’s playoffs pit the Slaughterers against the Suicide Shifters; and the Wrecking Crew against the High Seas Hotties. At the championship game Sept. 8, the winners of those two games will face off for first and second place in the league; the two losing teams play for third and fourth place.

The game: Flat-track derby means that the action happens on a skating-rink floor, with the boundaries marked off with rope lights. Between the outer boundary of the oval track and the spectators is a 10-foot space. This is to protect the fans, as players who are knocked out of bounds sometimes crash into the audience.

Teams have five players on the track during each “jam”: one pivot (or pace-setter), three blockers and one jammer. The jammers score a point for each member of the opponent’s team she passes, without going out of bounds. The blockers, of course, try to keep the jammers from doing this.

Injuries do happen. At one July game, medics came to the track four times. In each case, the player eventually got up and walked off. Sometimes, though, players are carried off with concussions or neck or knee injuries. Donations are accepted for the “injured skater fund.”

The players: What’s great about roller derby is that teams and players go all-out creating their look. The Slaughterers, for instance, wear blood-splattered aprons, while some players add horns, devil tails or fishnet stockings to their outfits. Player nicknames get very creative, like “June Carter Crash,” “Ann R. Key” and “Pummela Slamderson.” Even better are the jersey numbers, which range from the traditional to off-kilter picks such as .44 and 2 r . Slaughterer LaShawn Sykes, for instance, goes by the name “Hard Drive” and sports the number 00100100.

Although the women knock into each other during the game, there is a lot of camaraderie between the teams. “At the end of the day, we’re drinking a beer together,” said 26-year-old Hottie “Barooski.” “That’s not to say there aren’t catfights sometimes.”

Adding to the excitement are entertaining announcers with names such as “Dawn Diamond” and “Bankshot,” and a mistress of the rink, if you will, known as “Vanna Fright.”

The crowd: Typically, more than 1,000 people attend, and it’s an odd mix of demographics. Heavy on the tattooed set, though.

Halftime: Denton-based wrestling league XCW hosts three bouts, with a ring set up in the far corner of the rink. Gotta say, after watching it close up, it looks more cheesily choreographed than the big-league wrestling stuff you see on TV.

Good to know: At the Devils events, it’s BYOB. Bring your coolers with any kind of alcohol, but not in glass containers. Concessions with food, soda and water are also available.

There are some bleachers set up on either end of the track, but it’s best if you bring your own collapsible chair. Get there early to stake out a good spot. Derby regulars know that the most crashes happen on the second and fourth turns. Some even make pyramids of their empty beer cans, hoping a derby girl will knock them down.

Dallas Derby Devils

7:30 p.m. Saturday
Forum Roller World
1900 S. Great Southwest Parkway
Grand Prairie
$12-$15
972-641-0661; www.derbydevils.com
Championship game: Sept. 8

Assassination City Roller Derby
7:20 p.m. Sunday
Texas Skatium
2020 Rowlett Road
Garland
$10-$15
972-240-6455; www.acderby.com
Championship game: Sept. 9

Diamonds in the rough

The league: The Women’s Professional Football League, founded in 1999 with two teams, now has 16 teams representing 12 states. In the league’s eight seasons, Texas teams have won the championship six times: The Houston Energy took consecutive titles in 2000-02, while our Dallas Diamonds have reigned the past three years.

Diamonds are a Houston girl’s best fiend: Not only have the Diamonds won three years running, they’ve only lost one game in three seasons. That was a September 2006 loss to Houston.

As you can imagine, Dallas and Houston are the biggest rivalry in the league, which is why the home opener against the Energy shouldn’t be missed.

The team: The Diamonds have 43 rostered players, led by head coaches Mikal Black and Todd Hughes. This year, the team moves to a new venue, Pennington Field at Texas 183 and Central Drive in Bedford.

The players: Like the women of the roller derby, the football women are mostly professionals by day who tear up the field at night. Our Diamonds cover girls include Ingrid Mitchell, 42, the 5-foot-10-inch, 265-pound defensive player nicknamed “Tiny.” During the day, Mitchell works with mentally challenged people, and says she enjoys the competition and workout the game offers. The blonde is rookie receiver Danilynn Welniak, 18, who postponed taking a scholarship to study marine biology at the University of Hawaii to play a year with the Diamonds.

The women play for many reasons. According to Diamonds general manager Shelley Burnson, one signed up a few years ago because she had several young kids and “wanted to let out some aggression.”

The game: It follows the same rules as the NFL, played on a 100-yard field, full tackle.

The crowd: Crowd sizes average about 2,500, says Burnson. Again, you can spot a cross section of types in the bleachers, although it’s largely a family event. This year, the Diamonds plan to have a bounce house and other activities for kids at certain games, and are planning a faith-based night.

And yes, we know that a lot of you guys out there are saying “women, football – yeah, right.”

When the teams are somewhat evenly matched, these games can be as exciting as those in the pro boys’ club.

“Once we get you there, you’re hooked,” Burnson says.

Good to know: You cannot bring food, beverages, coolers, glass containers or backpacks into the stadium, but concessions are available. There have been reports of tailgating before Diamonds games. Also, for the first time, the national championships will be played here this year. Can we expect another Dallas-Houston smackdown? Count on it.

Dallas Diamonds vs. Houston Energy
7 p.m. Saturday
Pennington Field
1501 Central Drive
Bedford
$7-$10
817-690-3126; www.dallasdiamondsfootball.com

Future home games
Sept 8: vs. SoCal Scorpions
Sept. 22: vs. New Mexico Burn
Oct. 6: vs. Las Vegas Showgirlz

mlowry@star-telegram.com
Mark Lowry, 817-390-7747

92 Hell Marys
50 Dallas Derby Devils

73 Hustlers
26 Honky Tonk Heartbreakers

Background of this podcast provided by Rocrament.