Bayou City Bosses’ jammer Death By Chocolate (DBC) opened up the first jam of the night taking lead jammer status and scoring a 4-0 jam. Rookie jammer Bobituary scored a 5-3 jam for the Bosses and the defending champions took a 9-3 lead early in the bout. Mistilla the Killa came out of the penalty box in the third jam, took lead jammer status and scored a 5-0 jam, and the Psych Ward Sirens had narrowed lead to 9-8.

The Bayou City Bosses defense shut out the team in red for the next six jams and took a 31-8 lead after the ninth jam. The Bosses run featured a 10-point and four-point jam by DBC. The Sirens’ DeMentia responded with a 10-0 jam in the tenth jam. DBC came right back with a 10-4 jam for the Bosses followed by an 8-3 jam by Mistilla the Killa narrowing the Bosses lead to 44-30.

The defending champs and the team in red traded scoring jam advantages until the Bosses’ Miss Lead scored a 5-0 final jam of the half giving the defending champions a 57-44 lead at halftime.

Death By Chocolate opened up the scoring in the second half with a 10-point jam for the Bosses for a 67-44 lead. However, the Psych Ward Sirens shut out the defending champions for the next five jams, highlighted by a 10-point jam by Mistilla and a four-point jam by Jekyll and Heidi. After the sixth jam the team in red had narrowed the lead to 67-58.

A 7-2 jam by the Sirens’ DeMentia was countered by a 9-1 jam by the Bosses’ Miss Lead. An 11-4 jam by Jekyll and Heidi further narrowed the Bosses lead to 82-77. A 2-0 jam by DBC and a 4-0 jam by Miss Lead moved the lead out to 88-77 for the Bosses. DeMentia countered with an 8-4 jam in the 11th jam of the final half narrowing the lead by the Bosses to 92-85.

Two scoreless jams set up a huge jam by the Sirens. Mistilla the Killa took advantage of a penalty to the Bosses’ jammer, and scored a big 13-4 jam. To the delight of the boisterous Sirens fans at Kicks Indoor Soccer and Gym, the team in red took its only lead of the night, 98-96. A 4-4 jam by DeMentia and Miss Lead in the 15th jam of the half set up the big jam of the night with the score at 102-100 in favor of the Psych Ward Sirens.

The Sirens’ jammer was sent to the penalty box, and Death By Chocolate would take advantage of the situation by getting three pack passes worth 14 points, the defending champs shut out the team in red. The Bayou City Bosses took a 114-102 lead. Miss Lead gained lead jammer status in the next jam and with the Siren jammer still in the penalty box, she reeled off a big 10-0 score putting the Bosses in front of the Psych Ward Sirens 124-102 with time for only one more jam.

Considering that DBC was jamming for the Bosses, and that the team in black had been stingy all night long on defense, many fans thought there was no way the Sirens could score enough points to tie the bout, yet alone win it. But holy ref whistles! DBC was sent to the penalty box with a major penalty early in the jam, and the Sirens were ready to slow the pack down to a near standstill. While the best Bosses’ jammers would not let this entirely happen, DeMentia did slip through for a pack pass for points.

But the drama in this jam was not over as DeMentia was sent to the penalty box and the ever dangerous DBC came out seeking to even up the score. Wow, was that another penalty on DBC that the fans in Houston saw? It was, and out came DeMentia from the penalty box with time to score some more points.

There was no way that Becky Booty, Nawty Dread Knocks, and Goldie BloXX of the Bosses were going to let DeMentia by for more points. And by now you might have guessed what would happen next. DeMentia was whistled back to the penalty box and Death By Chocolate came out of penalty box just in time to skate some very cautious jamming time as the final four whistles sounded. The Psych Ward Sirens had closed the margin a bit, but the final score in favor of the team in black of 124-107 made the Bayou City Bosses repeat Houston Roller Derby champions.

The leading scorer for the Bosses was Death By Chocolate with 61 points. She gained lead jammer status in her first ten jams, and was lead jammer 11 out of 13 jams skated. Other top scorers for the two-time champions were Miss Lead with 39 points, Bobituary with 13 points, and Babyface Assassin with 11 points. In a game where team blocking was a huge key defensively, top blockers for the champs were Rebel Ann, Daily Beatings, Nawty Dread Knocks, and Goldie BloXX.

Despite the powerful Bayou City Bosses’ defense, Mistilla the Killa led scorers for the Psych Ward Sirens with 57 points. Dementia added 31 points, and Jekyll and Heidi chipped in with 19 points for the Sirens. Leading blockers for the team in red included Sick Nick, Copperhead, Panty Raider, and Scarlet O’Hurtya.

In the first bout of the evening the Burlesque Brawlers used their experience and speed to defeat the Spindletop Roller Derby of Beaumont, Texas 221-30. Spindletop was skating in their first bout ever.

Savage Rose opened up the first period with a 14-3 jam for the Brawlers as Spindletop picked up its first three points ever by Slam. The Brawlers shut out the new league for the next eight jams and a 20-point jam by Sweet Commotion would highlight the team in purple’s 114-0 run. Claudia Van Damage scored 14 points for the Brawlers, while Stella GetEvens would put up a pack pass of her own for Spindletop and four points.

Spindletop got its first highlight of the night, as Wildcat took lead jammer status and scored a strong 11-4 jam at the end of the half. As Wildcat skated past the Brawler bench, opponents came out onto the track to slap her on the back and hug her for the accomplishment. The Brawlers went into halftime leading 132-18.

While Spindletop slowed down the scoring machine for the home team in the second half a little bit, the Brawlers tossed up seven double-digit scoring jams. The biggest jam of the half was when Brawler captain Starr Doom scored five points and handed the jammer helmet cover to pivot Speedo. She added an additional ten points until the refs whistled the jam over. In the tenth jam, retiring skater Wreck Hell Welch got lead jammer and scored 14 big points in her final jam as a Houston Roller Derby skater, while Wildcat would tack on eight extra points for Spindletop. The final jam of the night would see the retiring all star Savage Rose put up a ten–point jam finalizing a 221-30 score.

The top scorers for the Burlesque Brawlers were Savage Rose with 44 points, Sweet Commotion and Basket Casey each with 40 points, and Speedo with 35 points. Leading blockers for the Brawlers were Chainsaw Chic, Wreck Hell Welch, Chicken, and Sinister Sista.

The leading scorers for Spindletop Roller Derby were Wildcat with 19 points, and Holy Miss Moley and Ruby Ridikule with four points each. Top blockers included Breaking Dawn, Talking Headcase, and AndyCondDuh.

So with that being said, I think the biggest roller derby rivalry going is the Bayou City Bosses against the Psych Ward Sirens. Even when the Psych Ward Sirens were sweeping their way to the first HRD championship in 2006, the third place team (Bayou City Bosses) were still able to play them closely in bouts. In 2007 the Bayou City Bosses actually beat the Psych Ward Sirens in regular season competition, but the Sirens turned right around and beat the Bosses for the championship. Last year the Sirens beat the Bosses in the regular season bout, but the Bosses turned around and beat the Sirens in the championship bout.

So far this year the Sirens have beaten the Bosses in their first bout of the season. But in a round robin tournament game that was not completed because the fire marshall in Houston closed down the event with about ten minutes left in the game, the Bosses were leading by four points. You can just imagine what was being said at the after party by the two teams. The trailing team was pretty sure they would have come from behind and won. And they may have been right since the Bosses had skated a full 20 minute bout the game before.

Well this rilvarly (and this rivalry has gotten to the point of some serious psychological tactics being involved) will happen again this Saturday evening. And as it has the previous two years, this bout Saturday night at Kicks Gym will decide who will be the champions. When I get the rosters I’ll do the writeup, because I wouldn’t want to write about any skaters that might not be skating. But just in case I don’t get rosters, check out the bout information at http://www.houstonrollerderby.com.

Phil

In one double header bout, the Psych Ward Sirens will skate against the Bayou City Bosses in what has turned out to be the biggest rivalry of the league. Last year the Bayou City Bosses lost to the Sirens during the regular season, but turned around and won the 2008 championship bout. In 2007, the Psych Ward Sirens lost to the Bosses during the regular season, but turned around and won their championship bout against the Bosses. This rivalry has been fiercely competitive even before the Bosses contended with the Sirens the last two years for the league championship.

The Psych Ward Sirens feature Mistilla the Killa, DeMentia and Jekyll and Heidi as top jammers for this explosive team. Top blockers include Panty Raider, Carmen Geddit, and Tex Offender. Top jammers for the Bayou City Bosses include Death By Chocolate, Miss Lead, and Holla Pain Yo. Some of the top blockers on this very powerful blocking team include Nawty Dread Knocks, Goldie BloXX, and Becky Booty.

In the other bout of the night the HRD Burlesque Brawlers will host Texas Rollergirls’ Hotrod Honeys. The Hotrod Honeys are arguably the best league championship team in Texas, especially after winning the Southern Brawl tournament in San Antonio last October. Although the Burlesque Brawlers will be skating short a few skaters because of injuries, the Brawlers have a real surprise for Houston derby fans. They will be bringing back some retired skaters to skate this bout only. Catazon, Mary Choppins, and Chicken are scheduled to skate for the Brawlers at this time.

Top jammers for the Brawlers include Speedo, Savage Rose, and Chainsaw Chic. Featured blockers include Sinister Sista, Starr Doom, and Brat Poison. The Hotrod Honeys will counter with star jammers Rice Rocket, Morphine, and Lucille Brawl. Top blockers on this solid team blocking squad from Austin include Vicious van GoGo, Shank, and Cat Tastrophe.

Doors open at Kicks at 6 p.m. with the first bout scheduled to start at 7 o’clock. Tickets are $12 in advance and $15 at the door. To purchase tickets online and get more information on this bout and on Houston Roller Derby please visit their web site at http://houstonrollerderby.com/.

Rosters are subject to change on the day of the event due to illness or injury.

Psych Ward Sirens: Brand-Aid, Candy Codeine, Copperhead, Carmen Geddit, DeMentia, Hot Rod Bettie, Ivana B. Sedated, Jekyll and Heidi, Mistilla “The Killa”, Panty Raider, Punitive Damage, Scarlet O’Hurtya, Sick Nick, and Tex Offender. Bench personnel include Dirty Sanchez and Domin8TRIX.

Hotrod Honeys: Cat Tastrophe, Morphine, Lucille Brawl, Rice Rocket, Vicious Van GoGo, Shank, RadioActive, ICandye, Voodoo Doll, Dilla, Bang Crosby, Misti Molotov and Crackerjack; Dagger Deb-Bench Manager.

Phil Arnold,
Roller Derby Is Sport

This Saturday is the classic Houston Roller Derby rivalry of the Bosses v the Sirens.  Don’t miss it at the new Kicks Indoor venue, 7pm!

SATURDAY! SATURDAY! SATURDAY!

(The video is large!)

DeMentia, in her first league bout since knee surgery last year, opened up the scoring run for the Sirens with a 15 points in the first jam while her teammates shut down the Brawlers.  Brawler Savage Rose scored eight points the next jam, but the Psych Warders had a 19-8 lead after just two jams.  Mistilla the Killa would score 11 points in the third jam while her team in red shut the opposition squad out, but the next jam Savage Rose again struck back for another 8-point jam.  The Sirens, however, countered with nine points by Jekyll and Heidi in the same jam gaining the Sirens a 39-16 advantage after four jams.

An eight-point jam by Jekyll and Heidi and a 13 point jam by Mistilla would highlight a Siren mini run and put them up 68-32 after eight jams; this bout was looking like it might become a blowout.  But the Brawlers shutout the team in red for the next two jams, and closed the margin to 68-41.  The Sirens defense then shutdown the team in purple for the next three jams, and moved the lead back out to an 81-41 lead.  An eight-point jam by Savage Rose, and a nine point jam by Sirens team captain Mistilla, with an additional nine points by the team in red would give the Psych Ward Sirens a commanding 103-54 lead at halftime.

Speed O opened up the second half with lead jammer status for the Burlesque Brawlers and in the third jam scored five more points as the team in purple chipped away at the Psych Warder’s lead.  But a big 12-point jam by DeMentia in the ninth jam would give the Sirens a 139-71 lead.

Savage Rose scored 13 points for the Burlesque Brawlers in the thirteenth jam, and the team in purple would out the Psych Warders for four consecutive jams to narrow the lead down to 153-108.  Speed O, the Brawlers all-star skating in her first league game for her new league team, scored 12 points, and Chainsaw Chic scored four points in the last jam of the game, and while the Burlesque Brawlers outscored the team in red 72-58 in the second half, the Psych Ward Sirens were satisfied with a final 161-126 victory as time ran out on the clock.

The leading scorer for the Psych Ward Sirens was DeMentia with 61 points. Mistilla the Killa scored 47 points, along with Jekyll and Heidi’s 39 points, and Carmen Geddit’s 14 points.  Leading blockers for the Sirens included Panty Raider, Punitive Damage, Tex Offender, and Copperhead.

Top scorers for the Burlesque Brawlers were Savage Rose with 60 points, Speed O with 34 points, Private Been Jammin with 16 points, and Chainsaw Chic with 12 points.  Top blockers for the team in purple included Starr Doom, Claudia Van Damage, Wreck Hell Welch, and Tempestua.

In the second jam of the final half, Karma Lucha received lead jammer status for the first time for Hurricane Alley, and four points came out of the jam.  But the Bosses struck back with a 21-point jam by Baby Face Assassin in the third jam.  Second year blocker Daily Beatings toke the jammer helmet cover to score 20 points on her only jam of the night, followed up by a 15-point jam by Tamityville Horror.  This rookie again scored 15 points to close out the final jam of the bout, as the Bayou City Bosses took a 269-8 victory over the squad from Corpus Christi.

Top scorers for the Bosses were rookies Baby Face Assassin with 44 points, BoBituary with 43 points, and Tamityville Horror with 35 points.  Team captain Death By Chocolate also had 35 points, although she only jammed twice in the bout.  Rebel Ann showed why she was recently added to the Houston travel team with nine key blocks in this bout, the leading blocking numbers for Saturday`s double header.  Other top blockers for the Bosses included Nawty Dreadknocks, Goldie BloXX, and Miss Lead.

High scorers for Hurricane Alley were ClumZaRella and Karma Lucha each with four points.  Top blockers for the Brass Knuckle Brawlers of Hurricane Alley included Annie Smokely, Iron Jenny Flint, Sugar, and ClumZaRella.

The next action for Houston Roller Derby will be April 18th at Kicks Indoor Soccer & Gym.

Phil Arnold,
Roller Derby Is Sport

The featured league bout will have the Psych Ward Sirens skating against the Burlesque Brawlers. The Psych Ward Sirens feature jammers Mistilla, DeMentia, and Jekyll and Heidi. Top blockers include Panty Raider, Carmen Geddit, and Tex Offender.  Some of the new Siren skaters include Scarlet O’Hurtya, and Punitive Damage.

The Burlesque Brawlers jammers include Savage Rose, Speed O, and Chainsaw Chic.  Top blockers include Starr Doom, Wreck Hell Welch, and Claudia Van Damage.  New skaters this year for the Brawlers include Private Been Jammin and Bush Wack Her.

In the other game of the double header, the 2008 league champion Bayou City Bosses will host the Hurricane Alley’s Brass Knuckle Brawlers from Corpus Christi.  Death By Chocolate will be one of the featured jammers, along with Miss Lead.  The Bosses are a very strong blocking squad featuring Nawty Dread Knocks, Goldie BloXX, Rebel Ann, Blindside and Daily Beatings.  This bout will be an opportunity to see several new skaters for the Bosses, skating against a fairly young team from Corpus Christi led by their captain Nina Cochina.

Doors open at Kicks at 6 p.m.  The first bout is scheduled to start at 7 o’clock.  Tickets are $12 in advance and $15 at the door. For more information please visit http://www.houstonrollerderby.com/.

Rosters are subject to change because of injury or illness on game day.

Burlesque Brawlers: Starr Doom, Claudia Van Damage, Savage Rose, Sinister Sista, Tempestua, Wreck Hell Welch, Princess Prozac, Creeping Beauty, Speed O, Chainsaw Chic, Bush Wack Her, Private Been Jammin and Scar Wars.

Psych Ward Sirens: Carmen Geddit, Copperhead, DeMentia, Jekyll and Heidi, Hot Rod Bettie, Ivana B. Sedated, Mistilla “The Killa”, Panty Raider, Punitive Damage, Scarlet O’Hurtya, Sick Nick, Tex Offender, Brand-Aid, and Candy Codeine.

Bayou City Bosses: Miss Lead, Death By Chocolate, Nawty Dread Knocks, Goldie BloXX, Rebel Ann, Blindside, Daily Beatings, Legsibtionist, BoBitchuary, Babyface Assassin, and Tammityville Horror.

Hurricane Alley Brass Knuckle Brawlers: Nina Cochina, Rainbow Spite, Iron Jenny Flint, Ann Droid, Bruise McGee, ClumZaRella, Thorn, Foxy StarLite, Volatile Vixen, Karma Lucha, and Meta, and I-Wanna.

Phil Arnold,
Roller Derby Is Sport

The visting Hurricane Alley Roller Derby from Corpus Christi kicks of the new season of Houston Roller Derby. New Venue: Kicks!

The outcome was

67 Bosses
76 Sirens

assuring a rematch between the two teams in the finals next month.

Note: See the comments to a correction/clarification to a misstatement during the podcast.

Thanks, as always to cjacks for the bumper music.

Bill Shirley discusses May’s bout with The Colonel who missed it.

73 Burlesque Brawlers
64 Machete Betties

86 Texas Rollergirls’ Honky Tonk Heartbreakers
49 Bayou City Bosses

The Machete Betties opened up the first half with authority gaining a 17-8 lead after five jams. In the sixth jam, Audiomind scored eight points while Panty Raider (as Viet Thong) was scoring four to narrow the lead down to five points. During the rest of the half, both teams would play strong defense, and the Machete Betties would go into halftime with a 30-26 half. It looked like the short-handed Betties might be able to pull off a surprising victory.

The Brawlers came out in the second half with a 4-point jam by Audiomind, followed by a 3-point jam by Savage Rose to take their first lead of the game. In the third jam, The Prosecutor countered with a 7-point jam to take the lead back for the Betties 37-33. The machete wielders held the lead until Burlesque Brawler Captain Savage Rose scored eight points, while Panty Raider was scoring two points in the seventh jam of the second half.

Then starting in the ninth jam, the Brawlers earned four lead jammers in a row and outscore the Betties 13-2. It was the key run of the game, with the team in purple holding a 14-point lead going into the last jam with just a little under two minutes left in the bout. The Prosecutor skated out to the jammer line, and broke out of the pack, scoring a grand slam for five points, but the clock ran out on her as the Burlesque Brawlers claimed their first regular season victory of 2008.

Audiomind lead the Brawlers scoring with 33 points. Savage Rose scored 31 points, 26 in the second half, and Catazon added nine crucial points. Top blockers for the team in purple were Raven Knockahoe, Sinister Sista, and Creeping Beauty.

The Machete Betties were led in scoring by The Prosecutor with 32 points. Miss Lead added 14 points, and Panty Raider chipped in with 10 points for the Betties. Top blockers for the team in camouflage included Major Mayhem, Becky Booty, and All Beef Patty (aka Mary Choppins of the bye-week Psych Ward Sirens).

Then the team from Austin went on the game’s most decisive run, gaining lead jammer status nine out of the last ten jams and outscoring the Bosses 30-3 at the end of the half.

The Bayou City Bosses would turned momentum of the game around in the second half, gaining lead jammer status ten times to the Honky Tonk Heartbreakers’ five lead jams. Even so, a big ten-point jam by Belle Starr with the Bosses’ jammer in the penalty box would seal the deal in the twelfth jam of the final period. It was her only time jamming for the night, and the biggest scoring jam of the bout for both teams, and it was in front of Belle Starr’s hometown crowd.

Bosses Captain Death By Chocolate made perhaps the most amazing individual play of the night. Late in the game, DBC was jamming and working her way through the pack when she came up against Heartbreaker pivot Friction VixXxen, who is also from Houston originally. Down the back stretch of the track they went, with DBC needing to get by the pivot to break out of the pack. DBC literally jumped from right-to-left sideways, got by her, and gained lead jammer status.

One of the Texas Rollergirls announcers said something to the effect that in five years of roller derby, that was one of the best derby moves he had seen. After the game, Friction VixXxen said, `I knew it was coming, but I just couldn’t quite get her.’ Needless to say, the crowd at Verizon roared their approval as Death By Chocolate went on to score three more points for her team.

Desi Cration had a monster game for the Heartbreakers, scoring 16 points, and the most blocks for her team according to preliminary blocking statistics from the HRD stats crew. Mary Lou Threaten also scored 16 points for the team from Austin. Other top scorers for the Honky Tonk Heartbreakers included Yellow Die with 15 points, and Olivia Shootin’ John with 13 points. Top blockers included Belle Starr, Friction VixXxen, and Agatha Friskey for the Honky Tonk Heartbreakers.

Death By Chocolate had an impressive game for the Bayou City Bosses. She got lead jammer status six out of nine times jamming, four out of five jams in the second half, and was one of her team’s top blockers, as well as scoring 16 points. Holla Pain Yo was the top Bosses scorer with 18 points. Goldie BloXX was the third leading scorer, and also one of the top blockers for her team. Other top blockers included Nawty Dread Knocks, Rosie the Ribhitter, and Chicken for the Bayou City Bosses.

The next action for Houston Roller Derby at Verizon Wireless Theater will be Sunday June 8th, when the Burlesque Brawlers will host the Bombshell Brigade of Assassination City, and the Psych Ward Sirens will skate against the Machete Betties.

Phil Arnold,
Austin, Texas

I talked to the Colonel briefly, but he didn’t make much of the podcast, only a cameo at the end.

April Bouts

126 Hell Marys (Austin)
83 Sirens

75 Bosses
37 Brawlers

113 Bosses
76 Betties

thecolonel@colonelpod.com

(music form the cjacks and Pod Safe Media)

The first game of the night between the Bosses and the Betties started off tied 17-all in the fourth jam. But team Captain Miss Lead would score four points for the Betties while Goldie BloXX was picking up a single point in the fifth jam as the machete wielders would take their first and only lead of the game. The team in black would counter with a 9-0 jam with Holla Pain Yo jamming, and rookie Lu Animal would follow up with another 9-point jam while the Bosses defense would shut out the Betties, putting the Bosses up by 36-21. Another 7-point jam by Holla Pain Yo and 7-point and 8-point jams by Death By Chocolate would expand the Bosses lead at half time to 75-42.

The Machete Betties would come out of the half with a new attitude and would control the offense machine that had exploded in the first half. The team in green camouflage would limit the Bosses to one big jam in the half, an 8-point jam by Death By Chocolate, and keep it close only being outscored 38-34 in the second half. Largely the very physical team Betties would play the defensive minded Bosses evenly in the last period.

Both teams would have a lot of rookies in action and both teams would show flashes from their new players that indicate a promising future for the Houston Roller Derby league. But the veteran all stars mainly controlled the pack, and therefore the game. Top scorers for the Bayou City Bosses were Death By Chocolate with 49 points, Holla Pain Yo with 22 points, and both Goldie BloXX and Lu Animal scoring 19 points. Top overall blockers were Naughty Dread Knocks, Goldie BloXX and Jule B. Sorry for the Bayou City Bosses. All stats are
unofficial.

The top scorers for the Machete Betties were The Prosecutor with 30 points, with Miss Lead and Major Mayhem contributing 19 points. Top blockers were Becky Booty, Tawdry Hepburn, and Royal Tease. Top blockers are based on unofficial overall blocks statistics, which include Jammer Take Outs, Knockdowns, Effective Blocks, and Offensive Assist blocks.

The second game of the night would see the defending champions assert their claim for a third championship in a row in Houston. The game was fairly close until Mistilla the Killa would assert her 2007 league MVP form and score eight points in the fourth jam, and the Psych Ward Sirens would take a 12-5 lead that would continue to expand as the night went on. Mistilla would add on a 13-point jam, followed up by an 8-point jam before the end of the half. The Sirens would take a 71-42 lead with Mistilla having scored 38 points in the half.

In the second half, the numerous all star blockers for the Sirens would help to wear out the Burlesque Brawlers, a hustling team with a large number of second year players. The Psych Warders would score in every single jam of the second half, except for the last jam. In the meantime, the team in red and black would be throwing seven shutout jams against the Brawlers. The high point jam of the night, a 15-point jam by DeMentia, would also be the most controversial jam of the night. Brawler jammer Catazon would score 4 points during that jam, and protest that there was now way she was passed three times, yet alone her pack being passed three times for scores. She would be sent to the penalty box for arguing. Another scoring dispute would occur four jams later, and before the team in purple could get a jammer on the track, the refs would start the next jam. The Brawlers would skate with only two skaters on the track, with two blockers being in the box and the jammer on the bench. Catazon would end the jam by knocking down Siren jammer Tilley Time Bomb, and raising her arms in triumph as her team only allowed four points despite the long defensive odds in the two minute jam. It was a moral victory, but not enough to stop the Psych Ward Sirens from scoring 91 points in the second half.

Mistilla was the star of the game scoring 46 points in the second half for an unofficial 84 total points. DeMentia followed up with 43 points for the Psych Ward Sirens. Panty Raider would add 16 points for the Sirens. Leading blockers for the Psych Ward Sirens would be Crasher, Mary Choppins, and Carmen Geddit.

The top scorer for the Burlesque Brawlers would be Savage Rose with 40 unofficial points, followed by Catazon who scored 21 points even though she was skating with a broken toe, and AudioMind who chipped in with 17 points. Top blockers for the Brawlers would be Raven Knockahoe, Sinister Sista, and Starr Doom. Again, all stats are unofficial.

On a personal note, one of the leagues top pivots Tawdry Hepburn may have skated her last game. She will go on a leave of absence and will probably retire. She is not a very big skater, but her skating technique is excellent and she has really helped her teams control the pack. But as strong of a skater as she may be, she is one of the nicest people in derby. She will be missed by skaters and fans alike in roller derby.

Thanks to Mother Dirt, Joe Momma, and Son of Booty for helping to provide unofficial blocking statistics after the bout!

Phil Arnold,
Austin, Texas

The Colonel has a quick review of the 2007 Championship game between the Bayou City Bosses and the Psych Ward Sirens wherein the Sirens come out victorious.

thecolonel@colonelpod.com

Our picks that we’ll certainly catch some ribbing for:

Bill Shirley
Betties 99 – Brawlers 70
Colonel
Betties 92 – Brawlers 80
Bill Shirley
Bosses 90 – Sirens 80
Colonel
Bosses 112 – Sirens 106

thecolonel@colonelpod.com

correction: see comments

The Colonel gives you the low down on the Brawler loss to the Bosses and his opinion about boots. Reminder of the Luau and upcoming Governor’s Cup.

thecolonel@colonelpod.com

thecolonel@colonelpod.com

The Bayou City Bosses (3-0) defeat the Machete Betties (1-2) in a hart fought bout, defying the previous prognostication of the Colonel’s pocket change. The Colonel tells the Betties fans to use their vocal cords.

thecolonel@colonelpod.com

The Bayou City Bosses defeated the Burlesque Brawlers. The rookie dominated Brawlers are getting better every week and turning into a fan favorite despite (beacause of?) their underdog status.

128 Bayou City Bosses (2-0)
43 Burlesque Brawlers (0-2)

Note to self: turn off the ringer on the phone when recording.
Email us: thecolonel@colonelpod.com

The Colonel pics the Betties to overwhelm the young Brawlers, and the Bosses to closely edge the undefeated Sirens.