Bayou City Bosses’ jammer Death By Chocolate (DBC) opened up the first jam of the night taking lead jammer status and scoring a 4-0 jam. Rookie jammer Bobituary scored a 5-3 jam for the Bosses and the defending champions took a 9-3 lead early in the bout. Mistilla the Killa came out of the penalty box in the third jam, took lead jammer status and scored a 5-0 jam, and the Psych Ward Sirens had narrowed lead to 9-8.

The Bayou City Bosses defense shut out the team in red for the next six jams and took a 31-8 lead after the ninth jam. The Bosses run featured a 10-point and four-point jam by DBC. The Sirens’ DeMentia responded with a 10-0 jam in the tenth jam. DBC came right back with a 10-4 jam for the Bosses followed by an 8-3 jam by Mistilla the Killa narrowing the Bosses lead to 44-30.

The defending champs and the team in red traded scoring jam advantages until the Bosses’ Miss Lead scored a 5-0 final jam of the half giving the defending champions a 57-44 lead at halftime.

Death By Chocolate opened up the scoring in the second half with a 10-point jam for the Bosses for a 67-44 lead. However, the Psych Ward Sirens shut out the defending champions for the next five jams, highlighted by a 10-point jam by Mistilla and a four-point jam by Jekyll and Heidi. After the sixth jam the team in red had narrowed the lead to 67-58.

A 7-2 jam by the Sirens’ DeMentia was countered by a 9-1 jam by the Bosses’ Miss Lead. An 11-4 jam by Jekyll and Heidi further narrowed the Bosses lead to 82-77. A 2-0 jam by DBC and a 4-0 jam by Miss Lead moved the lead out to 88-77 for the Bosses. DeMentia countered with an 8-4 jam in the 11th jam of the final half narrowing the lead by the Bosses to 92-85.

Two scoreless jams set up a huge jam by the Sirens. Mistilla the Killa took advantage of a penalty to the Bosses’ jammer, and scored a big 13-4 jam. To the delight of the boisterous Sirens fans at Kicks Indoor Soccer and Gym, the team in red took its only lead of the night, 98-96. A 4-4 jam by DeMentia and Miss Lead in the 15th jam of the half set up the big jam of the night with the score at 102-100 in favor of the Psych Ward Sirens.

The Sirens’ jammer was sent to the penalty box, and Death By Chocolate would take advantage of the situation by getting three pack passes worth 14 points, the defending champs shut out the team in red. The Bayou City Bosses took a 114-102 lead. Miss Lead gained lead jammer status in the next jam and with the Siren jammer still in the penalty box, she reeled off a big 10-0 score putting the Bosses in front of the Psych Ward Sirens 124-102 with time for only one more jam.

Considering that DBC was jamming for the Bosses, and that the team in black had been stingy all night long on defense, many fans thought there was no way the Sirens could score enough points to tie the bout, yet alone win it. But holy ref whistles! DBC was sent to the penalty box with a major penalty early in the jam, and the Sirens were ready to slow the pack down to a near standstill. While the best Bosses’ jammers would not let this entirely happen, DeMentia did slip through for a pack pass for points.

But the drama in this jam was not over as DeMentia was sent to the penalty box and the ever dangerous DBC came out seeking to even up the score. Wow, was that another penalty on DBC that the fans in Houston saw? It was, and out came DeMentia from the penalty box with time to score some more points.

There was no way that Becky Booty, Nawty Dread Knocks, and Goldie BloXX of the Bosses were going to let DeMentia by for more points. And by now you might have guessed what would happen next. DeMentia was whistled back to the penalty box and Death By Chocolate came out of penalty box just in time to skate some very cautious jamming time as the final four whistles sounded. The Psych Ward Sirens had closed the margin a bit, but the final score in favor of the team in black of 124-107 made the Bayou City Bosses repeat Houston Roller Derby champions.

The leading scorer for the Bosses was Death By Chocolate with 61 points. She gained lead jammer status in her first ten jams, and was lead jammer 11 out of 13 jams skated. Other top scorers for the two-time champions were Miss Lead with 39 points, Bobituary with 13 points, and Babyface Assassin with 11 points. In a game where team blocking was a huge key defensively, top blockers for the champs were Rebel Ann, Daily Beatings, Nawty Dread Knocks, and Goldie BloXX.

Despite the powerful Bayou City Bosses’ defense, Mistilla the Killa led scorers for the Psych Ward Sirens with 57 points. Dementia added 31 points, and Jekyll and Heidi chipped in with 19 points for the Sirens. Leading blockers for the team in red included Sick Nick, Copperhead, Panty Raider, and Scarlet O’Hurtya.

In the first bout of the evening the Burlesque Brawlers used their experience and speed to defeat the Spindletop Roller Derby of Beaumont, Texas 221-30. Spindletop was skating in their first bout ever.

Savage Rose opened up the first period with a 14-3 jam for the Brawlers as Spindletop picked up its first three points ever by Slam. The Brawlers shut out the new league for the next eight jams and a 20-point jam by Sweet Commotion would highlight the team in purple’s 114-0 run. Claudia Van Damage scored 14 points for the Brawlers, while Stella GetEvens would put up a pack pass of her own for Spindletop and four points.

Spindletop got its first highlight of the night, as Wildcat took lead jammer status and scored a strong 11-4 jam at the end of the half. As Wildcat skated past the Brawler bench, opponents came out onto the track to slap her on the back and hug her for the accomplishment. The Brawlers went into halftime leading 132-18.

While Spindletop slowed down the scoring machine for the home team in the second half a little bit, the Brawlers tossed up seven double-digit scoring jams. The biggest jam of the half was when Brawler captain Starr Doom scored five points and handed the jammer helmet cover to pivot Speedo. She added an additional ten points until the refs whistled the jam over. In the tenth jam, retiring skater Wreck Hell Welch got lead jammer and scored 14 big points in her final jam as a Houston Roller Derby skater, while Wildcat would tack on eight extra points for Spindletop. The final jam of the night would see the retiring all star Savage Rose put up a ten–point jam finalizing a 221-30 score.

The top scorers for the Burlesque Brawlers were Savage Rose with 44 points, Sweet Commotion and Basket Casey each with 40 points, and Speedo with 35 points. Leading blockers for the Brawlers were Chainsaw Chic, Wreck Hell Welch, Chicken, and Sinister Sista.

The leading scorers for Spindletop Roller Derby were Wildcat with 19 points, and Holy Miss Moley and Ruby Ridikule with four points each. Top blockers included Breaking Dawn, Talking Headcase, and AndyCondDuh.

So with that being said, I think the biggest roller derby rivalry going is the Bayou City Bosses against the Psych Ward Sirens. Even when the Psych Ward Sirens were sweeping their way to the first HRD championship in 2006, the third place team (Bayou City Bosses) were still able to play them closely in bouts. In 2007 the Bayou City Bosses actually beat the Psych Ward Sirens in regular season competition, but the Sirens turned right around and beat the Bosses for the championship. Last year the Sirens beat the Bosses in the regular season bout, but the Bosses turned around and beat the Sirens in the championship bout.

So far this year the Sirens have beaten the Bosses in their first bout of the season. But in a round robin tournament game that was not completed because the fire marshall in Houston closed down the event with about ten minutes left in the game, the Bosses were leading by four points. You can just imagine what was being said at the after party by the two teams. The trailing team was pretty sure they would have come from behind and won. And they may have been right since the Bosses had skated a full 20 minute bout the game before.

Well this rilvarly (and this rivalry has gotten to the point of some serious psychological tactics being involved) will happen again this Saturday evening. And as it has the previous two years, this bout Saturday night at Kicks Gym will decide who will be the champions. When I get the rosters I’ll do the writeup, because I wouldn’t want to write about any skaters that might not be skating. But just in case I don’t get rosters, check out the bout information at http://www.houstonrollerderby.com.

Phil

The article features Keith Primeau of the Philadelphia Flyers.

Because two bouts will count in the standings for each team, and each team has previously played two league games, the teams will have four bouts played in the standings after the final whistle of the final bout is completed. The teams with the top two records on the season will advance to championship bout in August.

The Psych Ward Sirens will come into this round robin bout with a big advantage, and undefeated 2-0 record for the season so far. Top jammers for the Sirens include Mistilla the Killa, DeMentia, and Jekyll and Heidi. Leading blockers for the Sirens are Carmen Geddit, Panty Raider, and Tex Offender. If the Sirens win one game they will be guaranteed a spot in the championship bout.

The Bayou City Bosses will come into this round robin event with 1-1 record. They will need to win at least one game, to have a chance to make the championship bout, and if they win two games they are guaranteed a spot and possibly the number one seed. Leading jammers for the Bosses are Death By Chocolate, Miss Lead and Holla Pain Yo. Top blockers for the defending champions include Nawty Dread Knocks, Goldie BloXX, and Becky Booty.

The Burlesque Brawlers will have a tough evening, but not an impossible time to qualify for the championship bout in August. They will need to win both of their bouts since they are 0-2 this season. Top jammers include Savage Rose, Private Been Jammin, and SpeedO. Featured blockers are likely to be Starr Doom, BushWackHer and Wreck Hell Welch.

All three of these bouts will take place at Kicks Indoor Soccer and Gym, 611 Shepherd Drive in Houston. Doors are scheduled to open at 6 p.m. with the action starting at 7 o’clock. Tickets are $12 in advance and $15 at the door. For more information please visit http://www.houstonrollerderby.com/.

Rosters are subject to change because of injury or illness.

Psych Ward Sirens: Mistilla the Killa, Jekyll and Heidi, Brand-Aid, Candy Codeine, Copperhead, Carmen Geddit, DeMentia, Domin8TRIX, Hot Rod Bettie, Ivana B. Sedated, Panty Raider, Punitive Damage, Scarlet O’Hurtya, Sick Nick, and Tex Offender.

Phil Arnold,
Roller Derby Is Sport

(CNN) — Amber Mori drives a forklift in a warehouse in Gaithersburg, Maryland. As a working mom, she’s on the go 24/7. But twice a week, Amber transforms into “Cykosis,” a fishnet-wearing, skatin’ diva, who bumps and jabs her way around a roller rink.

Amber has been skating for more than a year as a member of the “Mason Dixon Roller Vixens” roller derby team. What started out as a lark has now become a passion for her. “I love it; it’s a great way to get out, be invigorated — and the companionship is wonderful,” she says. “And I’ve got legs as strong as pythons.”

Women’s roller derby started as a professional sport in the 1920s, when teams criss-crossed the country, jabbing and jostling and duking it out for money and, eventually, the national championship.

By the 1970s, roller derby teams (and their fans) started to wane.

But with the resurgence of the extreme sports craze, women’s flat track roller derby has made a comeback. Tired of pilates and Jazzercise, a lot of women started looking for more exciting outlets to stay in shape; the campy novelty of the sport piqued interest. Now, nonprofessional groups such as the Vixens are popping up all over the country. Watch the Mason Dixon Roller Vixens do their thing »

The games became so popular that the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association was established in 2004 to promote the sport by “facilitating the development of athletic ability, sportswomanship and good will among member leagues.” Not all women’s roller derby teams belong to the league, but the league hopes to offer rookie groups like the Vixens an opportunity to join.

Playing out of Hagerstown, Maryland, the Vixens started small — only eight women. Now their roster has more than 20 names, from “Stun Hun” to “Squeaky Bomb” to “Fanny Harmher.” The monikers, the costumes and the attitude are all in fun.

But the workouts are intense. Twice a week, the gals practice in order to stay flexible and in shape. Their coach, Travis “Groper Cleavage” McGlaughlin, puts them through sit-ups, pushups and stretches to improve their endurance. “They need to stay in shape,” he says with a laugh. “Racing around the rink may look easy; it’s not. It takes a lot of strength and stamina to just keep going.”

Team Captain Jocelyn Bassler, better known to her fans as “Skid Ho,” says roller derby is the best workout she’s ever had. A former high school athlete, Bassler was looking for a sport to keep her in shape when she discovered the rink. “Why go to the gym if you have roller derby?” she asks.

Mori agrees. Since joining the group, she says she’s dropped some weight and she’s not surprised. According to sports medicine experts, an average-sized skater can use 400 to 1,000 calories an hour in competition, depending on how fast they skate. “At first I had a lot of toning in my legs,” Mori says. “But since then, I think I’ve lost 16 pounds.”

The women will also tell you that along with the thrill of victory comes the agony of bumps and bruises. They’ve suffered a couple of broken bones, swollen ankles and jammed fingers. So practice also includes drills to teach the women how to fall correctly. “Because if you’re not prepared to fall, you just aren’t playing the game,” says Bassler. “It’s tough, but I love it.”

Dr. Stuart Willick, associate professor at the University of Utah Orthopaedic Center, knows it’s tough. The university’s sports medicine team provides on-site medical coverage for the Salt City Derby Girls of the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association. “We have recognized that these skilled and dedicated athletes are at high risk for various musculoskeletal injuries,” he says. “Furthermore, this population of athletes is generally underserved by sports medicine experts.”

In an effort to better understand roller derby injuries, Willick and his colleagues are undertaking what they call “the most comprehensive study of roller derby injuries to date” by compiling questionnaires from roller derby leagues all over the country.

By studying how athletes get hurt, they hope to figure out how to prevent future injuries and keep derby girls safely rolling. “There is a lack of medical knowledge concerning roller derby injury epidemiology, treatment and prevention,” says Willick. “We feel it’s important to better understand injury risk among these athletes in order to improve treatment and prevention protocols.”

Willick says his group has had more than 1,000 respondents to its electronic injury survey so far; he hopes to have the final results by summer. “The high response rate indicates that the athletes themselves feel that this is an important issue,” he says.

The Vixens will agree: Roller derby can hurt and is not for sissies. But injuries or not, these divas will tell you there is no other game in town, and if they get knocked down, they’ll just get up again and keep on rollin’.

In one double header bout, the Psych Ward Sirens will skate against the Bayou City Bosses in what has turned out to be the biggest rivalry of the league. Last year the Bayou City Bosses lost to the Sirens during the regular season, but turned around and won the 2008 championship bout. In 2007, the Psych Ward Sirens lost to the Bosses during the regular season, but turned around and won their championship bout against the Bosses. This rivalry has been fiercely competitive even before the Bosses contended with the Sirens the last two years for the league championship.

The Psych Ward Sirens feature Mistilla the Killa, DeMentia and Jekyll and Heidi as top jammers for this explosive team. Top blockers include Panty Raider, Carmen Geddit, and Tex Offender. Top jammers for the Bayou City Bosses include Death By Chocolate, Miss Lead, and Holla Pain Yo. Some of the top blockers on this very powerful blocking team include Nawty Dread Knocks, Goldie BloXX, and Becky Booty.

In the other bout of the night the HRD Burlesque Brawlers will host Texas Rollergirls’ Hotrod Honeys. The Hotrod Honeys are arguably the best league championship team in Texas, especially after winning the Southern Brawl tournament in San Antonio last October. Although the Burlesque Brawlers will be skating short a few skaters because of injuries, the Brawlers have a real surprise for Houston derby fans. They will be bringing back some retired skaters to skate this bout only. Catazon, Mary Choppins, and Chicken are scheduled to skate for the Brawlers at this time.

Top jammers for the Brawlers include Speedo, Savage Rose, and Chainsaw Chic. Featured blockers include Sinister Sista, Starr Doom, and Brat Poison. The Hotrod Honeys will counter with star jammers Rice Rocket, Morphine, and Lucille Brawl. Top blockers on this solid team blocking squad from Austin include Vicious van GoGo, Shank, and Cat Tastrophe.

Doors open at Kicks at 6 p.m. with the first bout scheduled to start at 7 o’clock. Tickets are $12 in advance and $15 at the door. To purchase tickets online and get more information on this bout and on Houston Roller Derby please visit their web site at http://houstonrollerderby.com/.

Rosters are subject to change on the day of the event due to illness or injury.

Psych Ward Sirens: Brand-Aid, Candy Codeine, Copperhead, Carmen Geddit, DeMentia, Hot Rod Bettie, Ivana B. Sedated, Jekyll and Heidi, Mistilla “The Killa”, Panty Raider, Punitive Damage, Scarlet O’Hurtya, Sick Nick, and Tex Offender. Bench personnel include Dirty Sanchez and Domin8TRIX.

Hotrod Honeys: Cat Tastrophe, Morphine, Lucille Brawl, Rice Rocket, Vicious Van GoGo, Shank, RadioActive, ICandye, Voodoo Doll, Dilla, Bang Crosby, Misti Molotov and Crackerjack; Dagger Deb-Bench Manager.

Phil Arnold,
Roller Derby Is Sport

This Saturday is the classic Houston Roller Derby rivalry of the Bosses v the Sirens.  Don’t miss it at the new Kicks Indoor venue, 7pm!

SATURDAY! SATURDAY! SATURDAY!

(The video is large!)

Atlanta started out the first jam edging to a 1-0 lead with Thunder Enlightenin moving quickly into the pack to get the first point of the bout, before cutting the jam off.  Mistilla the Killa countered with a 3-1 jam in the second jam for Houston, tying the game up 4-4. Houston then shut down a hard-hitting team from Atlanta the next three jams and took a 13-4 lead.

Death By Chocolate came up with an 11 point jam, while the Merchant of Menace took lead jammer status for Atlanta and scored eight points in the sixth jam.  Thunder Enlightenin took a 10-0 jam in the seventh jam, narrowing the lead for Houston to 24-22. The teams slugged it out for the next two jams with Houston gaining only two points and a 26-22 lead after the ninth jam.

Atlanta rallied back with a 4-0 jam by Thunder Enlightenin to tie the game up at 26-all in the tenth jam, and the Dirty South Derby Girls took a 31-26 lead on a 5-0 Demi Gore jam.  The squad from Georgia took its biggest lead of the night with a 4-0 jam by Merchant of Menace in the 13th jam (35-28).  DeMentia countered with a 12 point jam for Houston after the Atlanta jammer was sent to the penalty box.  That made the score 40-35 after 14 jams.

N Timid Ate Her followed up with a 5-0 jam in the 15th jam, but the team in blue would strike back with three lead jammer-statuses in a row narrowing the lead to 49-47 in favor of Houston.  Mistilla the Killa scored a seven point jam in the 19th jam, and Demi Gore would counter with 3 points in the final jam of the half to narrow Houston’s lead to 56-50.

Starting off the second half, Houston Roller Derby had a couple of blockers in the penalty box. The strategy was for Houston to execute a little jammer on jammer defense that was somewhat succesful as Atlanta scored a 3-0 opening jam by Merchant of Menace to narrow the HRD lead to 56-53.  Demi Gore threw a 2-0 jam at Houston, to close the score to a 56-55 margin in the second jam.

Mistilla the Killa countered back for Houston with an 8-3 jam to move the score out to 64-58 lead.  Houston then outscored Atlanta 18-1 in the next three jams including a 7-1 jam by Mistilla that put Houston up 82-58 after the seventh jam.  But Atlanta scored the big jam of the night as the Houston jammer was sent to the penalty box, along with two other blockers, and Demi Gore posted a 15-0 jam to narrow the lead back to 82-73.

The crucial run of the night took place in the next several jams. Death By Chocolate, normally known for her amazing side-to-side moves while jamming, entered a stretch of several jams as a blocker.  She attacked the Atlanta front wall effectively, and helped her jammers pick up some big points.  N Timid Ate Her scored Houston’s largest jam of the night in the ninth jam of the half with 14 points, and in the 11th jam DeMentia scored 10 more points, moving the HaRD Knocks lead to 106-81.

Just as the Houston fans thought the home team had established control of the bout, Atlanta chipped away with a couple of four point jams by Merchant of Menace and Thunder Enlightenin to narrow the lead to 19 points. DeMentia scored a 5-0 jam in the 15th jam, and Death By Chocolate added an 8-0 jam for the home team and the lead expanded to a 121-93 advantage.

Both teams slugged out scoreless jams for the next two jams with DeMentia being sent off the track in the 19th jam, and Thunder Enlightenin joining her in the box. In what was a change in the WFTDA 4.0 rules under which this bout was being played, it was thought that the second jammer would enter the penalty box and the first jammer would come right back out. But there are some exceptions to this rule, and that happened in one of the first interleague bouts played under the new rules.

Because the jam was whistled off before Thunder Enlightenin made it to the penalty box, DeMentia could not come out of the penalty box. So the final jam of the night started with 38 seconds left on the clock.  When the last blocker had cleared the pivot line after the jam was started, DeMentia then came out of the penalty box, and Thunder Enlightenin started officially serving her 43 second penalty.

DeMentia was called for a blocking from behind minor penalty that would guarantee when she broke out of the pack, she couldn’t cut the jam off with lead jammer status. While she would pick up some points in the final jam, a physical Atlanta blocking squad would nail her with several hard blocks. Thunder Enlighten picked up eight points to DeMentia’s six points. When the final whistle blew, the official score was posted on the board at 127-101 in favor of Houston.

Top scorers for Houston were DeMentia with 41 points, Mistilla with 33 points, Death By Chocolate with 28 points, and N Timid Ate Her with 25 points. Leading blockers for the home team included Nawty Dread Knocks, Miss Lead, Becky Booty, and Sinister Sista.

The leading scorers for the Dirty South Derby Girls included Thunder Enlighten with 42 points, Demi Gore with 32 points, and Merchant of Menace with 27 points. All individual scoring stats are unofficial. Top blockers for Atlanta included Queen Looseyateefa, Sk8 Outa Compton, Tanya Hyde, Switchblade Souisie, and Shannihilator.

The next action for Houston Roller Derby will be at Kicks Gym in Houston on May 16th, as the Psych Ward Sirens skate against the Bayou City Bosses, and the Burlesque Brawlers take on the Hotrod Honeys of the Texas Rollergirls. Atlanta will also be in action on May 16th as the Dirty South Derby Girls host the Dominion Rollergirls of Virginia Beach, Virginia and league teams the Sake Tuyas skate against the Apocalypstix at the Yaarab Shrine Center auditorium in Atlanta.

Phil Arnold,
Roller Derby Is Sport

Currently ranked third in the South Central Region of the WFTDA, the Hard Knocks will be skating against the fifth ranked squad from Atlanta.  Houston features jammers Mistilla the Killa, Death By Chocolate, DeMentia, and N Timid Ate Her.  Top blockers for Houston include Nawty Dread Knocks, Miss Lead, Becky Booty, and Carmen Geddit.

Top jammers for Atlanta include Thunder Enlightnin, JuJu, Alassin Sane, and The Merchant of Menace.  Featured blockers for the Dirty South Derby Girls consist of Queen Looseyateefa, Sk8 Outta Compton, Tanya Hyde, and Switchblade Siousie.

Action will take place at JOPA Sports, 17951 I-45 South in Shenandoah, Texas, just north of The Woodlands on the northbound I-45 frontage road.  Doors open at 6 p.m. with the bout scheduled to start at 7 o’clock.  Tickets are $10 for this bout.  They may be obtained online at Houston’s web site http://houstonrollerderby.com/ or at the door at JOPA Sports.

Rosters are subject to change because of illness or injury on bout day.

Atlanta: Alassin Sane, Amelia Scareheart, Demi Gore, Foxfire, Juju, Killy Wabbit, The Merchant of Menace, Queen Loseyateefa, Shannihator, Sk8 Outta Compton, Spazz Attaque, Switchblade Siousie, Tanya Hyde and Thunder Enlightnin.

Houston: Becky Booty, Carmen Geddit, DBC, DeMentia, Jekyll & Heidi, N Timid Ate Her, Miss Lead, Mistilla, Nawty Dread Knocks, Panty Raider, Rebel Ann, Sinister Sista, Starr Doom and Tex Offender.

Phil Arnold,
Roller Derby Is Sport

East
1 Gotham Girls Roller Derby
2 Philly Roller Girls
3 Charm City Roller Girls
4 Carolina Rollergirls
5 Boston Derby Dames
6 Steel City Derby Demons
7 Providence Roller Derby
8 Harrisburg Area Roller Derby
9 Maine Roller Derby
10 Dominion Derby Girls
11 Connecticut RollerGirls
12 DC Rollergirls
13 Long Island Roller Rebels

West
1 Bay Area Derby Girls
2 Oly Rollers
3 Denver Roller Dolls
4 Rose City Rollers
5 Rat City Rollergirls
6 Duke City Derby
7 Pikes Peak Derby Dames
8 Rocky Mountain Rollergirls
9 Tucson Roller Derby
10 Angel City Derby Girls
11 Sacred City Derby Girls
12 Arizona Roller Derby
13 Salt City Derby Girls
14 Fabulous Sin City Rollergirls

North Central
1 Windy City Rollers
2 Detroit Derby Girls
3 Mad Rollin’ Dolls
4 Cincinnati Rollergirls
5 Arch Rival Rollergirls
6 Minnesota RollerGirls
7 Grand Raggidy Roller Girls
8 North Star Roller Girls
9 Fort Wayne Derby
10 Naptown Roller Girls
11 Burning River Roller Girls
12 Brew City Bruisers
13 Ohio Roller Girls
14 Omaha Rollergirls
15 Gem City Roller Girls

South Central
1 Texas Rollergirls
2 KC Roller Warriors
3 Houston Roller Derby
4 Dallas Derby Devils*
5 Atlanta Rollergirls*
6 West Texas Roller Dollz
7 Nashville Rollergirls*
8 Tampa Bay Derby Darlins*
9 Assassination City Derby
10 No Coast Derby Girls
11 NWA Roller Girls
12 Green Country Roller Girls*
13 Alamo City Rollergirls*
14 Oklahoma VIctory Dolls
15 Big Easy Rollergirls
16 Dixie Derby Girls
17 East Texas Bombers

Source: http://www.wftda.com/rankings/

* – indicates virtual tie

Roll Britannia will take place July 18-19.  Check for cheap air fares, and get yourself a European vacation.

The Hell Marys will be missing a few skaters on their trip to Houston, but still should be a very tough team to handle for the Sirens. The team from Austin will feature jammers Flame & Rage, The Angie Christ, and Sin O’Bite. Top blockers for the team in red plaid will be Ryder Down, Muffin Tumble, Kat A Killzem, and Jackin’ Jill. Flame & Rage previously skated for the Bayou City Bosses in Houston.

The Psych Ward Sirens are likely to feature Mistilla the Killa, DeMentia, and Jekyll and Heidi as prominent jammers for this bout. Top blockers include Carmen Geddit, Sick Nick, Tex Offender, and Copperhead.

The second bout will feature the defending champion Bayou City Bosses against an explosive Burlesque Brawlers. The Bosses feature Death By Chocolate, Miss Lead, and Babyface Assassin as jammers. Top blockers include Nawty Dread Knocks, Becky Booty, Daily Beatings and Rebel Ann for the Bosses. But both teams will be missing league all star skaters from this bout because of injuries.

The Brawlers top jammers include Speed O, Private Been Jammin’, and Chainsaw Chic. Featured blockers for the team in purple include Starr Doom, Wreck Hell Welch, Sinister Sista, and Creeping Beauty.

The double header will take place at Kicks Indoor Soccer and Gym, 611 Shepherd Drive in Houston, Texas. Doors open at 6 p.m. with the bout scheduled to start rolling at 7 o’clock. Tickets are $12 in advance and $15 at the door. For more information please visit Houston’s web site at http://www.houstonrollerderby.com/.

Rosters are subject to change on game dame because of injury or illness.

Hell Marys: Ryder Down, Jackin’ Jill, Double O’Heaven, Kat A. Killzem, Muffin Tumble, Bea Attitude, Flame & Rage, Slaughtermelon, Solid Rock, The Angie-Christ, Sin O’Bite, Ruby Wring, Fender Bender, and Acute Angel.

Phil Arnold,
Roller Derby Is Sport

Also, the Bayou City Bosses taking on the Burlesque Brawlers.

Come check out the new venue if you haven’t been yet.  It’s a great spot for roller derby.  And the after party just down the street on a Saturday night.

Go to houstonrollerderby.com for your pre-sale tickets (the only way to guarantee you get one), and if you are picking them up at Will Call, I suggest arriving 30-45 minutes early.

You can also buy pre-sale at Kicks whenever they’re open – check out the venue and get the tickets in your hands.  No waiting the night of the bout!

That’s How I Roll

‘Flash’ Bogash started out as a team with his mother, fellow Roller Derby Hall of Fame skater Josephine ‘Ma’ Bogash. He was also a coach and popular player representative for the sport.

March 27, 2009
Bill Bogash, a pioneer Roller Derby star who launched his legendary career on skates as a teenager during the Great Depression when he teamed up with his mother, has died. He was 92.

Bogash, a resident of Yucca Valley, died of respiratory failure March 20 at Hi-Desert Medical Center in nearby Joshua Tree, said his wife, Georgia.

“Billy Bogash was truly one of the greatest stars on the banked track,” wrote Gary Powers, executive director and curator of the National Roller Derby Hall of Fame in New York City, on the hall’s website. “He shaped and guided the sport like few other skaters and was instrumental in helping make Roller Derby the sensation it became during the late ’40s and ’50s, when the banked-track sport was the talk of the nation.”

Dubbed “Mr. Roller Derby” by his fellow skaters, Bogash launched his 23-year skating career in 1935 when he was 18.

The impetus came when Bogash and his mother, Josephine, attended the first Transcontinental Roller Derby race at the Chicago Coliseum in August of that year.

Roughly patterned after six-day bicycle races and Depression-era dance marathons and walkathons, the Transcontinental Roller Derby was the brainchild of Leo Seltzer. He was the former owner of a chain of Oregon movie theaters who staged commercial walkathons before tapping into the popularity of roller-skating.

The Transcontinental Roller Derby simulated a race from one end of the country to the other: Each two-person team — consisting of one male and one female — skated laps around the track and covered about 100 miles a day over a period of six weeks.

A large map of the United States on the wall kept track of the distance the skaters traveled each day.

Bogash’s mother, a diabetic who started roller-skating after her doctor told her she should exercise, tried out for the Roller Derby and was offered a job. But she told Derby officials that she wouldn’t go on the road unless they also took her son.

Josephine and Billy Bogash made their team debut that September, at the second Transcontinental Roller Derby race, held in Kansas City.

Bill Bogash, who was born in Chicago on Nov. 22, 1916, was an ice skater when he started “but not much of a roller skater,” former Roller Derby skater Mary Youpel told The Times this week.

“He became one of the very best skaters we ever had,” said Youpel, who joined the Roller Derby in Chicago in 1936 and skated until 1958.

Youpel, who spelled her name Youpelle during her skating days, said Bogash “used his ice-skating skills to become a great skater. He skated low, with long strides; he was a very graceful skater, really.”

Recalling those early years, Youpel said the Roller Derby skaters traveled by bus and lived in the buildings they skated in. And Ma Bogash, as she was billed, “was kind of the mature person for the whole Derby, so she looked after the girls.”

“You stayed in your quarters at night, and she told you what to do and what not to do,” Youpel said. “She was the mother hen, I guess you’d call her.”

Youpel said both Ma and Bill were “wonderful.”

“All of us girls would go to Ma if we had a problem, and Bill was a very quiet kind of guy, but a very jovial guy,” she said. “He always had a joke or something to say and got along with everybody. Even on the track, if things would go wrong, he was there to try to calm it down.”

Roller Derby soon evolved from a marathon-style event with two-person teams into a competition involving two teams of five men and five women each. The men and women alternated time on the track, and reworked rules brought more crowd-pleasing physical contact among the skaters.

When Roller Derby was televised in the late 1940s, Youpel said, “it became a big deal because now people that couldn’t go to the games could see it at home, and we drew a lot of fans that way.”

In 1952, Ma Bogash became the first female skater inducted into the Roller Derby Hall of Fame.

Bill Bogash was inducted a year later.

“He was called ‘Flash’ Bogash; he was very fast and very agile,” recalled Nellie Wilson, who skated in the Roller Derby from 1952 to 1964 under the name Nellie Montague.

As chronicled on the hall of fame website, Bill Bogash led numerous teams around the nation during the 1940s and coached the New York Chiefs to the first Roller Derby world championship at Madison Square Garden in New York in 1949.

Bogash later led the Los Angeles Braves when the Derby moved west from New York in 1954 and continued skating with the Braves over the next several years. He also was the player representative for all skaters in negotiations with Derby management.

“If there was a problem with management, you went to Bill,” Wilson said.

After hanging up his skates in 1958, Bogash spent 24 years running Sanborn House, a Los Angeles restaurant that he had bought a few years earlier.

In 1971, Bogash helped launch the Roller Derby Has Beens, a group of former skaters who met for annual reunions.

“To us, he’s Mr. Roller Derby; he’s been around so long and involved so long,” Wilson said. “Last year, when he came to the reunion, all the skaters stood up and applauded when he came through the door.”

Bogash, who was married three times, is survived by his wife of 50 years, Georgia; his sons, Billy Jr. and Scott; his daughter, Sharon Guccione; three grandchildren; and 10 great-grandchildren.

A celebration of Bogash’s life is pending.

DeMentia, in her first league bout since knee surgery last year, opened up the scoring run for the Sirens with a 15 points in the first jam while her teammates shut down the Brawlers.  Brawler Savage Rose scored eight points the next jam, but the Psych Warders had a 19-8 lead after just two jams.  Mistilla the Killa would score 11 points in the third jam while her team in red shut the opposition squad out, but the next jam Savage Rose again struck back for another 8-point jam.  The Sirens, however, countered with nine points by Jekyll and Heidi in the same jam gaining the Sirens a 39-16 advantage after four jams.

An eight-point jam by Jekyll and Heidi and a 13 point jam by Mistilla would highlight a Siren mini run and put them up 68-32 after eight jams; this bout was looking like it might become a blowout.  But the Brawlers shutout the team in red for the next two jams, and closed the margin to 68-41.  The Sirens defense then shutdown the team in purple for the next three jams, and moved the lead back out to an 81-41 lead.  An eight-point jam by Savage Rose, and a nine point jam by Sirens team captain Mistilla, with an additional nine points by the team in red would give the Psych Ward Sirens a commanding 103-54 lead at halftime.

Speed O opened up the second half with lead jammer status for the Burlesque Brawlers and in the third jam scored five more points as the team in purple chipped away at the Psych Warder’s lead.  But a big 12-point jam by DeMentia in the ninth jam would give the Sirens a 139-71 lead.

Savage Rose scored 13 points for the Burlesque Brawlers in the thirteenth jam, and the team in purple would out the Psych Warders for four consecutive jams to narrow the lead down to 153-108.  Speed O, the Brawlers all-star skating in her first league game for her new league team, scored 12 points, and Chainsaw Chic scored four points in the last jam of the game, and while the Burlesque Brawlers outscored the team in red 72-58 in the second half, the Psych Ward Sirens were satisfied with a final 161-126 victory as time ran out on the clock.

The leading scorer for the Psych Ward Sirens was DeMentia with 61 points. Mistilla the Killa scored 47 points, along with Jekyll and Heidi’s 39 points, and Carmen Geddit’s 14 points.  Leading blockers for the Sirens included Panty Raider, Punitive Damage, Tex Offender, and Copperhead.

Top scorers for the Burlesque Brawlers were Savage Rose with 60 points, Speed O with 34 points, Private Been Jammin with 16 points, and Chainsaw Chic with 12 points.  Top blockers for the team in purple included Starr Doom, Claudia Van Damage, Wreck Hell Welch, and Tempestua.

In the second jam of the final half, Karma Lucha received lead jammer status for the first time for Hurricane Alley, and four points came out of the jam.  But the Bosses struck back with a 21-point jam by Baby Face Assassin in the third jam.  Second year blocker Daily Beatings toke the jammer helmet cover to score 20 points on her only jam of the night, followed up by a 15-point jam by Tamityville Horror.  This rookie again scored 15 points to close out the final jam of the bout, as the Bayou City Bosses took a 269-8 victory over the squad from Corpus Christi.

Top scorers for the Bosses were rookies Baby Face Assassin with 44 points, BoBituary with 43 points, and Tamityville Horror with 35 points.  Team captain Death By Chocolate also had 35 points, although she only jammed twice in the bout.  Rebel Ann showed why she was recently added to the Houston travel team with nine key blocks in this bout, the leading blocking numbers for Saturday`s double header.  Other top blockers for the Bosses included Nawty Dreadknocks, Goldie BloXX, and Miss Lead.

High scorers for Hurricane Alley were ClumZaRella and Karma Lucha each with four points.  Top blockers for the Brass Knuckle Brawlers of Hurricane Alley included Annie Smokely, Iron Jenny Flint, Sugar, and ClumZaRella.

The next action for Houston Roller Derby will be April 18th at Kicks Indoor Soccer & Gym.

Phil Arnold,
Roller Derby Is Sport

The featured league bout will have the Psych Ward Sirens skating against the Burlesque Brawlers. The Psych Ward Sirens feature jammers Mistilla, DeMentia, and Jekyll and Heidi. Top blockers include Panty Raider, Carmen Geddit, and Tex Offender.  Some of the new Siren skaters include Scarlet O’Hurtya, and Punitive Damage.

The Burlesque Brawlers jammers include Savage Rose, Speed O, and Chainsaw Chic.  Top blockers include Starr Doom, Wreck Hell Welch, and Claudia Van Damage.  New skaters this year for the Brawlers include Private Been Jammin and Bush Wack Her.

In the other game of the double header, the 2008 league champion Bayou City Bosses will host the Hurricane Alley’s Brass Knuckle Brawlers from Corpus Christi.  Death By Chocolate will be one of the featured jammers, along with Miss Lead.  The Bosses are a very strong blocking squad featuring Nawty Dread Knocks, Goldie BloXX, Rebel Ann, Blindside and Daily Beatings.  This bout will be an opportunity to see several new skaters for the Bosses, skating against a fairly young team from Corpus Christi led by their captain Nina Cochina.

Doors open at Kicks at 6 p.m.  The first bout is scheduled to start at 7 o’clock.  Tickets are $12 in advance and $15 at the door. For more information please visit http://www.houstonrollerderby.com/.

Rosters are subject to change because of injury or illness on game day.

Burlesque Brawlers: Starr Doom, Claudia Van Damage, Savage Rose, Sinister Sista, Tempestua, Wreck Hell Welch, Princess Prozac, Creeping Beauty, Speed O, Chainsaw Chic, Bush Wack Her, Private Been Jammin and Scar Wars.

Psych Ward Sirens: Carmen Geddit, Copperhead, DeMentia, Jekyll and Heidi, Hot Rod Bettie, Ivana B. Sedated, Mistilla “The Killa”, Panty Raider, Punitive Damage, Scarlet O’Hurtya, Sick Nick, Tex Offender, Brand-Aid, and Candy Codeine.

Bayou City Bosses: Miss Lead, Death By Chocolate, Nawty Dread Knocks, Goldie BloXX, Rebel Ann, Blindside, Daily Beatings, Legsibtionist, BoBitchuary, Babyface Assassin, and Tammityville Horror.

Hurricane Alley Brass Knuckle Brawlers: Nina Cochina, Rainbow Spite, Iron Jenny Flint, Ann Droid, Bruise McGee, ClumZaRella, Thorn, Foxy StarLite, Volatile Vixen, Karma Lucha, and Meta, and I-Wanna.

Phil Arnold,
Roller Derby Is Sport

It is with great sadness that the ColonelPod reports that Raven Knockahoe, member of the Psych Ward Sirens and the Houston Roller Derby Travel Team – HaRD Knocks, has sustained an injury prior to the start of the 2009 season.

She suffered a broken ankle while street skating. The season is set to begin in just a few days. Often breaks can heal faster than a severe strain. We join the rest of the Houston Roller Derby Family in hoping she has a quick recovery.

We love watching her knock girls over and want to see her on the court soon!

Good to know it’s on the Big Boy’s radar.

I’m planning to Metro in from Fairfax with my co-worker and first grade son.  I’ll be introducing them to roller derby, so I’m not sure we’ll make it the full three hours, but we’ll see.

On the card: DC DemonCats v Scare Force One and the Shore Points Roller Derby’s Boardwalk Brawlers v Cherry Blossom Bombshells. So add a Phili/South Jersey travel team to the fun.

Despite the fact that I lived in the area for over two years, I have never been to an event in the DC Armory. So, it will be fun to check out that venue, as well.

The visting Hurricane Alley Roller Derby from Corpus Christi kicks of the new season of Houston Roller Derby. New Venue: Kicks!

A desperate rally by the Dirty South Derby Girls fell short Saturday night as the Dallas Derby Devils defeated the Atlanta Rollergirls squad 115-108 in Grand Prairie, Texas.

Dallas opened up the first jam scoring a pack pass by jammer Roxie La Roo. Then despite not gaining lead jammer in the next jam, The Shocker would outscore the opposing Atlanta jammer 13-5, and DDD took a 17-5 lead. Hot For Teacher scored 12 points in the third jam as Dallas began a 32-15 run early in the bout; Dallas took a 49-20 lead at the end of the seventh jam.

The Dirty South Derby Girls would begin a mini-run of their own as they outscored Dallas 24-8 led by Thunder Enlightenin’s nine-point jam in the tenth jam of the first half, along with another nine-point jam by JuJu in the 14th jam. The score was narrowed to 58-45. But DDD would come back with the last 12 points of the final three jams and Dallas took a 73-49 lead into the half.

Dallas opened up the second half on a seven-point jam by Roxie LaRoo, and proceed to outscore Atlanta 19-4 in the opening four jams of the second period. This gave Dallas a 39-point lead. But The Dirty South Derby Girls began a furious rally the next jam with 11 points scored by jammer Thunder Enlightenin’. The Merchant of Menace followed up with an eight-point jam and Atlanta narrowed the lead to 96-72.

Dallas and the team from Georgia continued trading jam point advantages, and then the Derby Devils started getting into penalty trouble. The Dirty South Derby Girls initially took control of the front blocking pack early in the last jams, and then isolated DDD skaters at the back of the pack, slowing down the blocking pack. Juju scored ten points in the thirteenth jam of the half, and Alassin Sane finished off a 55-23 rally by Atlanta narrowing the game to a seven-point lead by Dallas. The clock ran out before the 15th jam could start and somehow the Dallas Derby Devils had survived the rally that featured the team from Georgia putting the bout in doubt even though Atlanta never had a lead.

Top scorers for the Dallas Derby Devils were Hot For Teacher with 36 points, Roxie La Roo with 29 points, and Ingersoll Rand with 22 points. Top blockers for Dallas included Scary Cherry Bang Bang, Rink Panther, The Shocker, and Keltic Kamikaze.

Top scorers for the Dirty South Derby Girls included Thunder Enlightenin’ with 27 points, JuJu with 23 points, Alassin’ Sane with 21 points, and the Merchant of Menace with 12 points. Leading blockers for the Atlanta Rollergirls were Queen Loseyateefa, Sk8 Outa Compton, and Tanya Hyde.

(All individual scoring is unofficial.)

Phil Arnold,
Roller Derby Is Sport

The new season starts up in March, and will be the third Saturday of each month.

Mistilla the Killa

I was certainly sad that I couldn’t make Houston Roller Derby’s first travel game this year in New Orleans.  It of course would have been a great time, and apparently it was a great game with healthy veterans, flashy rookies, and improved pack communication.

Luckily Kerry McClain was there as always to take some great photos and give us a real feel for the battle against the Big Easy Roller Girls.

The visiting team opened up with a ten-point jam by Death By Chocolate, and an 11-point jam by Mistilla the Killa to take a 21-4 lead after two jams.  The key jam of the night occured in the fourth jam of the game after both jammers were whistled off the track for major fouls in the third jam.  Speed O Racer, skating in only her third bout ever, took the jammer helmet cover, and soon after obtaining lead-jammer status, the Big Easy jammer was sent to the penalty box.  The Houston blockers slowed the pack down, and the speed skating flash led to four pack passes and a partial pack pass to score 23 points.  That is most points ever scored in a jam by a Houston Roller Derby jammer.  The score ballooned out to a 40-point lead for HRD, and the HaRD Knocks never looked back.

Death By Chocolate added a 19-point jam in the fifth jam, and a 13-point jam in the 9th jam, with Mistilla adding a 15-point jam in the 15th jam as Houston moved out to a 141-19 lead at half time.

Lacy Underalls scored a five-point jam in the second jam of the second half to raise a roar from the Big Easy home crowd of around a thousands fans, but Speed O Racer came back with a big 19-point jam the very next jam. Trixie la Femme brought the crowd at the University of New Orleans to their feet as the Big Easy jammer was awarded lead jammer, scored points on a pack pass; the defense for the home team shut Houston down in the fourth jam of the half.

However, a ten-point jam by Speed O Racer and a 15-point jam by DeMentia rounded out another solid half by the Houston HaRD Knocks, as they outscored the Big Easy Rollergirls 113-24 in the second half.

Leading scorers for Houston were Death By Chocolate with 77 points, Mistilla the Killa and Speed O Racer each with 62 points, DeMentia with 23 points, and Savage Rose with 19 points.  Top blockers in an HRD team-blocking scheme that consistently controlled the pack were Nawty DreadKnocks and Miss Lead each with seven key blocks, and Goldie BloXX with several key blocks.

The top scorers for Big Easy were Beatrix sKiddo and Lacy Underalls with 13 points each.  Balls Out Betty scored seven points, before having to leave the bout with a collar bone/shoulder injury, and Trixie la Femme scored six points.  Stand out blockers included Pontchatrain Beatch, Coalminer’s Slaughter, Louise ze Animal, and in her first travel team game Deb U Taunt.

Houston was just too much for the derby league from New Orleans Saturday night.  HRD controled the speed of the pack, taking advantage of power jam situations with their speedy jammers. The Big Easy Rollergirls had a great derby bout presentation at a venue with great sight lines for derby fans.

Phil Arnold,
Roller Derby Is Sport

The Western Regionals was a fabulous time. Twenty games of amazing derby. Lots of teams I hadn’t yet had the opportunity to see. Every minute of it, some job to do.

Here’s a fabulous picture that Kerry McClain took of me hard at work. And yet it’s probly the least fabulous picture in his Day 2 set from the tournament.

Chase the link too check the really good ones out.

Of note:
21,000 unique viewers on Saturday
270 average throughout the 8-bout day.

Additional background: Very few people knew I was going to try to feed the live web cam ahead of time. I only confirmed it was legal, without even asking anyone if I could do it. The video was an average quality web cam (which is to say, low quality video) – though the audio was reasonably good. It was more like live radio with some vague images accompanying them. A huge value add was the fact that there was a chat room that was attached to the video. It gave those watching a sense of community and those who were more knowledgeable could answer others’ questions.

Friday morning I sent out an email to one local and one national email list providing the link for the web cast. That was the first time it was publicly known it would be available. I’m sure that the email from the national group got passed around; I have heard directly from a few of the watchers that they heard about it on their local email lists. I heard the same story 10-fold indirectly from others. I believe DNN (who I had not yet met) got a whiff of it and publicized it as well.

I didn’t write down any numbers on Friday, but it went from dozens in the morning to maybe 200 at peak. On the following days I did write down the numbers anytime I checked on the video camera (it sat alone by itself most of the time). These numbers represent how many people were watching it at any given time. Games 9-16 were on Saturday, Games 17-20 on Sunday. Multiple numbers represent different times in the game when I checked on the video, usually half time and game end. I rounded down to the nearest 10s value.

Game 9 – 60 / 120
Game 10 – 210 / 200
Game 11 – 260
Game 12 – 360
Game 13 – 430 / 630 / 1000 / 900 / 160
Game 14 – 190
Game 15 – 240
Game 16 – 300
Game 17 – 50
Game 18 – 65 / 75
Dude Derby – 175
Game 19 – 200
Game 20 – 100 / 130 / 430 / 550 / 650

Viewers were watching from all over the US and some in Canada and the UK.

For updates check

http://www.ustream.tv/channel/houston-roller-derby-live

Most of the games are saved by halves. I haven’t confirmed which ones are there or not.

The outcome was

67 Bosses
76 Sirens

assuring a rematch between the two teams in the finals next month.

Note: See the comments to a correction/clarification to a misstatement during the podcast.

Thanks, as always to cjacks for the bumper music.

The MobStars lost to the Machete Betties, 14-193. (Or something close to that.)

Thanks as always to cjacks for the bumper music.

SouthSideRollerDerby_0271

Originally uploaded by SouthSideGirls

Two skaters who both used skate with at Battleground Roller Derby.

Battle TeachHer from the MobStars team from South Side Roller Derby, and Scarlett o’Hurtya of the Machete Betties from Houston Roller Derby skating in the Ring of Fire bout, August 10 2008.

thanks, as always, to cjacks for providing the music

sorry for several audio production issues, hope it doesn’t effect your enjoyment

If you notice any problems, please let me know!

The game opened up tied after one jam, but two nine-point jams by Death By Chocolate and Savage Rose for Houston moved the lead out to 43-21 for the squad from the Bayou City after the seventh jam. An eight-point jam by Mellow Yellow of the NWA Killbillies narrowed the lead to 47-29, but another nine-point jam by Savage Rose helped expand the lead to 81-48 in favor of the HaRD Knocks at halftime.

Houston started the second half with the biggest jam of the game: Death By Chocolate took advantage of a penalty on the Killbillies jammer and score 14 points to move the lead out even further. In fact in the first five jams of the half, Savage Rose scored two 12-point jams and Death By Chocolate chipped in another ten-point jam to move the score up to 129-56. Death By Chocolate added a nine-point jam in the eighth jam of the half, to which the Killbillies’ Mellow Yellow countered with eight-points the next jam. The score was 142-75 at this point, but the Houston defense limited the team from Fayetteville, Arkansas to four points the rest of the night, while scoring 34 points to make the final score 176-79.

The key to the game was the HaRD Knocks blocking. Both teams had jammers in the penalty box probably four times for the whole game, not a huge number considering the new cutting the track majors under WFTDA 3.0 rules. So most of the large jams for Houston were because the defense was keeping the Killbillies’ jammer tied up in the pack. In addition they were able to break their jammers out to score well over 150 points for the regulation WFTDA 60-minute game.

The top scorer for Houston was Death By Chocolate with 73 points. She gained lead jammer status an amazing eight out of ten jams. HaRD Knocks jammer Savage Rose contributed a big scoring night with 60 points, 30-points in each half. Mistilla the Killa added 23 points, and The Prosecutor chipped in with ten points for Houston.

The top blockers included Beth Threat with several jammer takeouts, and with “Offensive Assist Blocks” that freed up jammers for points, or helped jammers break out of the pack. Becky Booty had numerous jammer takeouts and sustained blocks that held the opposing jammer back. Other top blockers for Houston included Miss Lead, Goldie BloXX, and Carmen Geddit. All Houston blockers contributed in what may have been their best interleague blocking game ever.

The top scorers for NWA’s Killbillies were Mellow Yellow with 32 points. Apache Rose with 18 points, and Blazen Glory with 13 points. Pork Pie, Saba Taj, and Dimah Darling turned in some of the better blocking jobs for NWA during this bout.

It should be noted that Northwest Arkansas, probably the strongest team in Arkansas and Oklahoma, ran up against a hungry Houston Roller Derby all star squad trying to move up in the WFTDA rankings so they can make Western Regionals to be held in Houston in October. NWA played a very consistent game, but Houston’s bout may have been their best game ever against another all-star team.

The next bout for Houston will be next Sunday at Verizon Wireless theater in downtown Houston since the HaRD Knocks are in action for the fourth weekend in a row as they host the Texas Rollergirls. Also, the remainder of the league will be divided up into a “Stars versus Stripes” team scrimmage. Action starts at 5 o’clock. Tickets are
$10 in advance from Houston’s web site at http://www.houstonrollerderby.com/ and $15 at the door.

Phil Arnold,
Roller Derby Is Sport

Houston is coming off of a tough weekend of roller derby in Philadelphia, so they are nicked up with injuries. Angel City is ranked 32nd in the WFTDA (Women’s Flat Track Derby Association) while Houston is ranked 24th. This could be a very important game for Houston, which competed against two higher ranked teams the previous weekend at East Coast Derby Extravaganza and will be looking for a win to keep their ranking up, and a little help from the home crowd. The only information I have about Angel City is they are a greatly improved team in the last year.

Doors open at 7 p.m. with the bout scheduled to start at 7:30.

Again, seating is limited, so Houston fans are advised to get advanced tickets if possible. Tickets are $10 and almost sold out. Be sure to get your ticket online before 5pm on Friday! For advanced tickets and more information on the bout, please visit Houston Roller Derby’s web site at http://www.houstonrollerderby.com/.

Rosters are subject to change the day of the event because of injury or illness.

Houston Roller Derby: Becky Booty, Beth Threat, Carmen Geddit, Catazon, Crasher, Death By Chocolate, Jekyll & Heidi, Miss Lead, Mistilla, Nawty Dread Knocks, Panty Raider, Savage Rose, The Prosecutor, and Wreckhell Welch.

Angel City: Alotta Trouble, Annie Afterparty, Cherrylicious, Dia Blow, Diesel, Duchess Von Damn, Estro Jen, Go Go Gidget, Hard Cora, Ja’ass ismine, Ms. D’fiant, Va Va Va Gina, Vodka Toxic, and Sugar N’ Spikes.

76 Psych Ward Sirens
77 Machete Betties

Thank again for the cjacks for the backing music.

130 HRD’s Burlesque Brawlers
100 ACRD’s Bombshell Brigade

The Colonel checks in from Marfa regarding the Brawler’s win against a visiting Assassination City team.

The Betties and Sirens opened up the game by scoring seven points each in the first jam. But after another seven point jam by Chain Saw Chick, and a three point jam by Miss Lead, the Machete Betties took a 17-7 lead at the end of the fourth jam. 2007 MVP Mistilla the Killa came back with a 10 points in the fifth jam to tie it up. The game was still tied at the beginning of the ninth jam when Miss Lead scored ten more points to Carmen Geddit’s four points, and the team in Camouflage took a 35-29 lead. A five point jam by Scarlet O’Hurtya and a four point jam by Chainsaw Chick moved the halftime lead out to 44-29 in favor of the Machete Betties.

After a huge first jam of the second half by Betties all star The Prosecutor, when she scored 12 points while the Sirens were shutout, the Psych Ward Sirens began their astounding comeback to make up the 27 point difference. Mistilla the Killa, who was nursing a sore knee suffered in the Roll For a Cure tournament in May, only skated twice in the first half and scored 17 of her team’s 29 points. She jammed six times in the second half and picked up 34 more points. The Sirens’ blockers stepped up with some really tough defense and the team only allowed ten points in the next seven jams while picking up 31 points: the lead was down to 66-60.

In the next jam there was a scoring controversy. Originally Scarlet O’Hurtya was given eight points to Mistilla’s six points, when Mistilla was lead jammer. However after a long discussion between the refs, both captains, and the scorekeepers the Machete Betties points were reduced to three points for the jam. The Sirens had officially closed the gap to 69-66. In the next jam Miss Lead put pressure on Siren lead jammer Panty Raider, who cut the jam off with neither team scoring any points.

The game came down to the last two jams, with a little more than two minutes left in the game. In the 11th jam, Mistilla broke out for lead jammer, followed closely by The Prosecutor. Mistilla hit into the pack first followed by The Prosecutor. Mistilla ended the jam, with each jammer being awarded five points. With roughly 50 seconds left in the game Mistilla, jamming again on the final jam, broke out of the pack again with lead jammer status, closely followed by Miss Lead. She stayed within five feet of Mistilla who again made it through the pack. When the clock ran out she had put up five more points. But Miss Lead was officially given three points, and the official score was the final 77-76 on the scoreboard. The celebration began in earnest for the Machete Betties; they had picked up their first win of the season, and against the defending HRD champion Psych Ward Sirens.

Top scorers for the Machete Betties included The Prosecutor with 24 points, Miss Lead with 21 points, and rookie Chainsaw Chic with 14 points, with rookie Scarlet O’Hurtya chipping in 10 crucial points. Top blockers for the Betties included Major Mayhem, Becky Booty, and BushWackher.

The leading scorer for the Psych Ward Sirens was the amazing Mistilla who put up 51 points of the defending champs’ 76 points. Panty Raider added 16 points, and Carmen Geddit chipped in with eight points. All individual scoring is unofficial. Top blockers for the Sirens included Mary Choppins, Crasher and Tex Offender.

The first jam opened with the Bombshell Brigade’s Harassiz Mine moving out to two pack passes and outscoring Savage Rose 8-7 even though the Burlesque Brawler captain had gained lead jammer status. Mona Bruis’r followed up with a nine-point jam, and the team from Dallas had a 17-13 lead.

However, Savage Rose countered with a nine point jam in the fourth jam of the game, after the officials signaled a split pack, and let her pass the remaining three Brigade’s blockers to gain a 22-19 lead for the home team. Savage Rose then scoreed eight points in the sixth jam, followed by a nine point jam in the 8th jam as the Brawlers widened their lead to 44-35. The team in red chiped away at the lead and by halftime the Burlesque Brawlers were up 58-53 in a game that could go either way.

A seven point jam by Harassiz Mine open up the second period and the game was narrowed down to a 62-60 margin. But Catazon countered with a nine point jam, and Savage Rose followed up with a nine point jam in the forth jam of the second half, and the team in purple took an 83-64 advantage. With Harrasiz Mine jamming against Catazon, the most controversial jam of the bout unfolded.

Harrasiz Mine scored nine points in the jam while Catazon earned four, but during the jam in turn four, Catazon literally pulled Bombshell Brigade Captain Vanna Rockin’ down to the floor, initiating a fight. Both skaters were ejected, and the controversy was just starting. Catazon clearly pulled the blocker Vanna Rocker down from behind. While both may have been ejected for fighting, clearly Catazon was a jammer and Vanna Rockin was a blocker.

No jammer was made to serve Catazon’s ejection penalty. In fact, Savage Rose was on the track for the beginning of the next jam and she scored four points, while Harrasiz Mine scored another four points for the team from Dallas. The break for the fight was lengthy, and as might be imagined, the debate from both teams with the officials was heated. For some in the audience it appeared that Catazon could have had a substitute jammer not only serving a major penalty for pulling down Vanna Rockin’, but possibly another major for fighting. That would have been a two-minute penalty for the home team with a jammer in the penalty box. But again, a jammer was out on the track for the Burlesque Brawlers the next jam, and the Bombshell Brigade captain (the second leading team scorer during the season) was kicked out of the game, and away from her bench so she could not be involved in strategic decisions.

For the Burlesque Brawlers replacing Catazon, their second leading scorer, was not an easy situation. They still held a 14-point lead, but some of the squad from Houston was needed to cover for Catazon’s absence. Miss Treatment scored 12 of her 15 points in the second half after the ejection, helping maintain the Brawler lead. Savage Rose continued to skate an amazing game for the Brawlers. The Brawlers outscored the Brigade 21-8 in the middle three jams of the final half, and the lead was extended to 112-85. The Bombshell Brigade only cut into the lead a little, and for some reason their leading scorer did not jam in any of the last six jams of the half.

There is not much doubt who was the star of the game was for the Burlesque Brawlers. Savage Rose scored 77 points (unofficially) and jammed every other jam after Catazon was ejected. Catazon was the second leading scorer (28) for the home team. Miss Treatment added a crucial 18 points for the Burlesque Brawlers to round out the scoring. Top blockers for the Burlesque Brawlers included Brat Poison, Raven Knockahoe, and Starr Doom.

The top scorer for the Bombshell Brigade from Assassination City was Harrasiz Mine with 48 points. Rookie Mona Bruis’r followed up with 21 points for the team in red. Brandy Danger, skating in only her 2nd bout ever, chipped in 12 points for the team from Dallas. Top blockers, besides Harrasiz Mine and Mona Bruis’r, included Claire Voyant, Rehabigail and Mary Ate Ashley.

The next action for Assassination City will be on June 21st at home in Mesquite, Texas with a derby double-header. The next action for the Houston Roller Derby, after they get home from competing at East Coast Extravaganza in Philadelphia, will be against the Angel City Derby Girls on June 28th. For more information on either of these bouts visit Assassination City’s web site at www.acderby.com/cms or Houston’s web site at www.houstonrollerderby.com.

Phil Arnold,
Austin, Texas

(I’ve excluded this file from the normal podcast feed.)

Assassination City Roller Derby (Dallas, Texas) Bombshell Brigade
vs
Burlesque Brawlers (1-2)

Psyche Ward Sirens (1-0, 1-1)
v
Machete Betties (0-2)

(off this month – Bayou City Bosses (2-0, 2-1))

Personally, I think there is a direct correlation between Houston Roller Derby, and Houston becoming the “Best City” to live in in the United States. Ever since 2006 when I saw my first derby bout in Houston by HRD I have thought, Houston would be a great place to live. So I am giving a lot of the credit to the skaters and volunteers for HRD who make Houston such a fun place to visit.

See you June 8th! And if I weren’t in Dallas for a bout tomorrow, you know I would be checking out the Bayou City Bosses’ fund raiser.

Phil

Bill Shirley discusses May’s bout with The Colonel who missed it.

73 Burlesque Brawlers
64 Machete Betties

86 Texas Rollergirls’ Honky Tonk Heartbreakers
49 Bayou City Bosses

The Machete Betties opened up the first half with authority gaining a 17-8 lead after five jams. In the sixth jam, Audiomind scored eight points while Panty Raider (as Viet Thong) was scoring four to narrow the lead down to five points. During the rest of the half, both teams would play strong defense, and the Machete Betties would go into halftime with a 30-26 half. It looked like the short-handed Betties might be able to pull off a surprising victory.

The Brawlers came out in the second half with a 4-point jam by Audiomind, followed by a 3-point jam by Savage Rose to take their first lead of the game. In the third jam, The Prosecutor countered with a 7-point jam to take the lead back for the Betties 37-33. The machete wielders held the lead until Burlesque Brawler Captain Savage Rose scored eight points, while Panty Raider was scoring two points in the seventh jam of the second half.

Then starting in the ninth jam, the Brawlers earned four lead jammers in a row and outscore the Betties 13-2. It was the key run of the game, with the team in purple holding a 14-point lead going into the last jam with just a little under two minutes left in the bout. The Prosecutor skated out to the jammer line, and broke out of the pack, scoring a grand slam for five points, but the clock ran out on her as the Burlesque Brawlers claimed their first regular season victory of 2008.

Audiomind lead the Brawlers scoring with 33 points. Savage Rose scored 31 points, 26 in the second half, and Catazon added nine crucial points. Top blockers for the team in purple were Raven Knockahoe, Sinister Sista, and Creeping Beauty.

The Machete Betties were led in scoring by The Prosecutor with 32 points. Miss Lead added 14 points, and Panty Raider chipped in with 10 points for the Betties. Top blockers for the team in camouflage included Major Mayhem, Becky Booty, and All Beef Patty (aka Mary Choppins of the bye-week Psych Ward Sirens).

Then the team from Austin went on the game’s most decisive run, gaining lead jammer status nine out of the last ten jams and outscoring the Bosses 30-3 at the end of the half.

The Bayou City Bosses would turned momentum of the game around in the second half, gaining lead jammer status ten times to the Honky Tonk Heartbreakers’ five lead jams. Even so, a big ten-point jam by Belle Starr with the Bosses’ jammer in the penalty box would seal the deal in the twelfth jam of the final period. It was her only time jamming for the night, and the biggest scoring jam of the bout for both teams, and it was in front of Belle Starr’s hometown crowd.

Bosses Captain Death By Chocolate made perhaps the most amazing individual play of the night. Late in the game, DBC was jamming and working her way through the pack when she came up against Heartbreaker pivot Friction VixXxen, who is also from Houston originally. Down the back stretch of the track they went, with DBC needing to get by the pivot to break out of the pack. DBC literally jumped from right-to-left sideways, got by her, and gained lead jammer status.

One of the Texas Rollergirls announcers said something to the effect that in five years of roller derby, that was one of the best derby moves he had seen. After the game, Friction VixXxen said, `I knew it was coming, but I just couldn’t quite get her.’ Needless to say, the crowd at Verizon roared their approval as Death By Chocolate went on to score three more points for her team.

Desi Cration had a monster game for the Heartbreakers, scoring 16 points, and the most blocks for her team according to preliminary blocking statistics from the HRD stats crew. Mary Lou Threaten also scored 16 points for the team from Austin. Other top scorers for the Honky Tonk Heartbreakers included Yellow Die with 15 points, and Olivia Shootin’ John with 13 points. Top blockers included Belle Starr, Friction VixXxen, and Agatha Friskey for the Honky Tonk Heartbreakers.

Death By Chocolate had an impressive game for the Bayou City Bosses. She got lead jammer status six out of nine times jamming, four out of five jams in the second half, and was one of her team’s top blockers, as well as scoring 16 points. Holla Pain Yo was the top Bosses scorer with 18 points. Goldie BloXX was the third leading scorer, and also one of the top blockers for her team. Other top blockers included Nawty Dread Knocks, Rosie the Ribhitter, and Chicken for the Bayou City Bosses.

The next action for Houston Roller Derby at Verizon Wireless Theater will be Sunday June 8th, when the Burlesque Brawlers will host the Bombshell Brigade of Assassination City, and the Psych Ward Sirens will skate against the Machete Betties.

Phil Arnold,
Austin, Texas

I’ll mostly be playing R&B tracks from the 70’s but also playing some hearty 80’s and 90’s Texas rock plus some Mexican rock crossover stuff from past and present. I will be the only live late night DJ on the air and my show will run weekly from 11PM-1AM CST on Marfa Public Radio.

Great news for all you computer nerds- the show and station are streamable at www.marfapublicradio.org Hopefully some of y’all will opt to listen as the studio is equipped with double turntables in addition to CD and cassette. I will be bringing bits and pieces of my extensive 45 and LP collection that I don’t get the pleasure of listening to nearly enough.

Feel free to call in to the station while I’m in the booth at 432-729-4578. I’m planning on a five to ten year lifespan for this show.

(10) Bay Area Derby Girls – 99
(24) HaRD Knocks – 54

(11) Rose City Roller Girls – 154
(24) HaRD Knocks – 44

Sunday, May 11, 2008

(12) Minnesota Roller Girls – 97
(24) HaRD Knocks – 83

(–) OC Roller Girls – 76
(24) HaRD Knocks – 97

(These are UNOFFICIAL scores. The number in brackets is the teams
WFTDA ranking.)

The Heartbreakers are about to visit again, so I thought you might want to re-listen.

I talked to the Colonel briefly, but he didn’t make much of the podcast, only a cameo at the end.

April Bouts

126 Hell Marys (Austin)
83 Sirens

75 Bosses
37 Brawlers

hrd

Many derby girls who didn’t travel to the California Fundraiser Event: Roll for a Cure, spent their Saturday at the 2008 Art Car Parade, with an estimated attendance of 200,000 people.

(Houston Art Car Parade 2008)

The difference I believe can be the fans of Houston, being loud and proud of their Houston Roller Derby skaters. Sunday night in Austin, I was talking with one of the skaters who last year was in Houston at the Governor’s Cup. I asked her why she was so hyper at the end of the bout against Houston and she said, “Have you ever been booed by 2,000 fans?” Well, I don’t think there were 2,000 fans that night, and I don’t think every fan was booing her, but that was her perception.

In a way, I think this is a compliment to the Houston fans. They were loud and very supportive of their hometown skaters. I think the Hell Marys, especially their younger players, have not played in a large venue like Verizon Wireless Theater. And they certainly don’t know how loud and crazy the Psych Ward Sirens fans can be at Verizon. Throw in some support from other league fans, and I think the fans can help make a 20- or 30-point difference by encouraging their home team skaters.

That’s just my opinion of course, but I hope all you Houston fans will make the special effort to show up and support your local team and show the folks from Austin just how great the Houston fans are.

Phil Arnold,
Austin, Texas

The Colonel
1. Psych Ward Sirens
2. Burlesque Brawlers
3. Bayou City Bosses
4. Machete Betties

Bill Shirley
1. Psych Ward Sirens
2. Bayou City Bosses
3. Burlesque Brawlers
4. Machete Betties

2007 Rankings
Sirens
Bosses
Brawlers
Betties

2006 Rankings
Sirens
Brawlers
Bosses
Betties

thecolonel@colonelpod.com

Bumper music provided by the cjacks.

They’re tough, yet flirty. Aggressive, but sassy. And they’d knock you to the ground in a heartbeat without so much as a blink or an apology. Well, at least on the skating rink they would.

They’re the women of the Houston Roller Derby (HRD) league, and with the 2008 season underway, they’re putting Houston on the map as a new hot spot for this retro sport.

Established in 2005, HRD (Houstonrollerderby.com) is growing just as much in its participation as it is in its popularity and fan base. The league includes four teams, each with its own tough-girl title. There’s the Bayou City Bosses, Burlesque Brawlers, Machete Betties, Psych Ward Sirens and the all-star HaRD Knocks. The skaters also come with intimidating monikers like Goldie Bloxx, Rosie the Ribhitter and Wreck Hell Welch.

During the 2008 season, which runs from March to September, teams battle each other, as well as other Texas teams. Home matches, or bouts, are held at least once a month at downtown’s Verizon Wireless Theater.
You might be surprised by the athletes you’d see bashing each other on the rink. “We have skaters from every type of background, including housewives, lawyers, IT consultants, graduate students, massage therapists, photographers, teachers and scientists,” said “Carmen Geddit,” HRD interleague director and one of five Women’s Flat Track Derby Association (WFTDA) representatives for the league. “You’d be amazed at the variety of women who are interested in playing a full-contact sport.”

Geddit said HRD skaters train three to four times a week to stay in shape for the grueling bouts. Houston area women are invited to join a recreational league to learn about the sport, train with HRD skaters and get a solid workout. Just be sure to bring your helmet and knee pads.

—Clair Maciel, www.healthandfitnessmag.com

162 Sirens
80 Brawlers

thecolonel@colonel.com

113 Bosses
76 Betties

thecolonel@colonelpod.com

(music form the cjacks and Pod Safe Media)

The first game of the night between the Bosses and the Betties started off tied 17-all in the fourth jam. But team Captain Miss Lead would score four points for the Betties while Goldie BloXX was picking up a single point in the fifth jam as the machete wielders would take their first and only lead of the game. The team in black would counter with a 9-0 jam with Holla Pain Yo jamming, and rookie Lu Animal would follow up with another 9-point jam while the Bosses defense would shut out the Betties, putting the Bosses up by 36-21. Another 7-point jam by Holla Pain Yo and 7-point and 8-point jams by Death By Chocolate would expand the Bosses lead at half time to 75-42.

The Machete Betties would come out of the half with a new attitude and would control the offense machine that had exploded in the first half. The team in green camouflage would limit the Bosses to one big jam in the half, an 8-point jam by Death By Chocolate, and keep it close only being outscored 38-34 in the second half. Largely the very physical team Betties would play the defensive minded Bosses evenly in the last period.

Both teams would have a lot of rookies in action and both teams would show flashes from their new players that indicate a promising future for the Houston Roller Derby league. But the veteran all stars mainly controlled the pack, and therefore the game. Top scorers for the Bayou City Bosses were Death By Chocolate with 49 points, Holla Pain Yo with 22 points, and both Goldie BloXX and Lu Animal scoring 19 points. Top overall blockers were Naughty Dread Knocks, Goldie BloXX and Jule B. Sorry for the Bayou City Bosses. All stats are
unofficial.

The top scorers for the Machete Betties were The Prosecutor with 30 points, with Miss Lead and Major Mayhem contributing 19 points. Top blockers were Becky Booty, Tawdry Hepburn, and Royal Tease. Top blockers are based on unofficial overall blocks statistics, which include Jammer Take Outs, Knockdowns, Effective Blocks, and Offensive Assist blocks.

The second game of the night would see the defending champions assert their claim for a third championship in a row in Houston. The game was fairly close until Mistilla the Killa would assert her 2007 league MVP form and score eight points in the fourth jam, and the Psych Ward Sirens would take a 12-5 lead that would continue to expand as the night went on. Mistilla would add on a 13-point jam, followed up by an 8-point jam before the end of the half. The Sirens would take a 71-42 lead with Mistilla having scored 38 points in the half.

In the second half, the numerous all star blockers for the Sirens would help to wear out the Burlesque Brawlers, a hustling team with a large number of second year players. The Psych Warders would score in every single jam of the second half, except for the last jam. In the meantime, the team in red and black would be throwing seven shutout jams against the Brawlers. The high point jam of the night, a 15-point jam by DeMentia, would also be the most controversial jam of the night. Brawler jammer Catazon would score 4 points during that jam, and protest that there was now way she was passed three times, yet alone her pack being passed three times for scores. She would be sent to the penalty box for arguing. Another scoring dispute would occur four jams later, and before the team in purple could get a jammer on the track, the refs would start the next jam. The Brawlers would skate with only two skaters on the track, with two blockers being in the box and the jammer on the bench. Catazon would end the jam by knocking down Siren jammer Tilley Time Bomb, and raising her arms in triumph as her team only allowed four points despite the long defensive odds in the two minute jam. It was a moral victory, but not enough to stop the Psych Ward Sirens from scoring 91 points in the second half.

Mistilla was the star of the game scoring 46 points in the second half for an unofficial 84 total points. DeMentia followed up with 43 points for the Psych Ward Sirens. Panty Raider would add 16 points for the Sirens. Leading blockers for the Psych Ward Sirens would be Crasher, Mary Choppins, and Carmen Geddit.

The top scorer for the Burlesque Brawlers would be Savage Rose with 40 unofficial points, followed by Catazon who scored 21 points even though she was skating with a broken toe, and AudioMind who chipped in with 17 points. Top blockers for the Brawlers would be Raven Knockahoe, Sinister Sista, and Starr Doom. Again, all stats are unofficial.

On a personal note, one of the leagues top pivots Tawdry Hepburn may have skated her last game. She will go on a leave of absence and will probably retire. She is not a very big skater, but her skating technique is excellent and she has really helped her teams control the pack. But as strong of a skater as she may be, she is one of the nicest people in derby. She will be missed by skaters and fans alike in roller derby.

Thanks to Mother Dirt, Joe Momma, and Son of Booty for helping to provide unofficial blocking statistics after the bout!

Phil Arnold,
Austin, Texas

Also, the 2008 season is about to kick off! We hope to see you there, and hopefully you’ll hear from us again soon.

Let me know if you have any issues with the inline players on the site, or with the iTunes, or any other, feed.

You can subscribe directly to our new feed at www.colonelpod.com/?feed=podcast. (Subscribe in itunes right now!)

We are using the PodPress plug-in to WordPress. I hightly suggest it!

The Colonel keeps his announcing skills honed at the Skate Joust at Montrose Skate Shop.

If you’re not enjoying that bout with The Colonel, you can join Bill Shirley in Houston at party.shirl.com. All are welcome, bring a friend. Skates welcome.

Wed Jan 16 – 7:00pm – 9:30pm (basic skill boot camp)
Saturday Jan 19 – 8:00am-11am (speed and derby skills)
Sunday Jan 20 – TBD (offical tryouts and party)

All 3-day’s are mandatory!!
Advance Registration Required!
Email Chewcifer at recruitment@houstonrollerderby.com for more details!

Machete Betties 89
Burlesque Brawlers 92

thecolonel@colonelpod.com

The Colonel has a quick review of the 2007 Championship game between the Bayou City Bosses and the Psych Ward Sirens wherein the Sirens come out victorious.

thecolonel@colonelpod.com

yard sale.jpg

Come support the HRD and get some cheap stuff!

A yard sale without a yard, on the sidewalk at White Oak and Beverly in the Heights.

Our picks that we’ll certainly catch some ribbing for:

Bill Shirley
Betties 99 – Brawlers 70
Colonel
Betties 92 – Brawlers 80
Bill Shirley
Bosses 90 – Sirens 80
Colonel
Bosses 112 – Sirens 106

thecolonel@colonelpod.com

correction: see comments

Email “Derek (Sinster Sista’s BF)” <j03m0mma at yahoo dot com> if you’re interested.

Saturday:
Game 1: Kansas City (116) vs. Gotham Girls (101)
Game 2: Carolina Rollergirls (80) vs. Tuscon (73)
Game 3: Windy City Rollers (56) vs. Texas Rollergirls (108)
Game 4: Detroit Derby Girls (50) vs. Rat City Rollergirls (160)

Sunday:
Game 5: Kansas City (116) vs. Carolina Rollergirls (108)
Game 6: Texas Rollergirls (79) vs. Rat City Rollergirls (89)
Game 7: Carolina Roller Girls (47) vs. Texas Rollergirls (110)
Game 8: Kansas City (89) vs. Rat City Rollergirls (85)

thecolonel@colonelpod.com

Roller derby tournament comes home to Austin

Texas Rollergirls helped repopularize the sport in the early 2000s.

By Patrick George
AMERICAN-STATESMAN STAFF
Monday, October 01, 2007
(more content at the web site, including photos and video)

Austinites helped bring it back, and now they’ve brought it home.

The city behind the revival of women’s roller derby played host to the 2007 Women’s Flat Track Derby Association Championship Tournament this weekend. Skaters and fans from as far away as London united for one purpose: to watch feisty, tightly clothed women tackle, slam and pummel each other to the ground as they skate around a track.

Three thousand people — eight teams from across the United States plus equally raucous spectators — crammed into the Austin Convention Center. The event was hosted by Austin’s own Texas Rollergirls, one of the driving forces behind the sport’s rescue from 1970s obscurity, and the 2006 national champions.

“Everybody’s always gunning for Texas,” said Jenny “Apocalippz” Olender, who skates for the Texas Rollergirls. “We are the godmothers of roller derby, and it’s our responsibility to advance the sport.”

When the Rollergirls started competing in Austin in 2001, the sport’s popularity quickly spread until it became a national phenomenon, Olender said. This year’s tournament was special for participants because it meant the sport was coming back to its hometown.

“When we started Rollergirls, there were a few people who knew in their hearts that we could bring it to this level,” said Melissa

“Melicious” Joulwan, author of “Rollergirl: Totally True Tales From the Track,” which was published in February. “It’s really fun to have it back here in Austin.”

The sport is not for the faint of heart. During four 10-minute periods, four women from each team battle it out to protect their jammer, a sprint skater who earns points by lapping members of the opposing team. The defensive players can block using body parts above the hips except for their hands and heads, which often results in skaters crashing to the ground or getting launched into the air.

It gets rough sometimes. Olender said she broke her ankle twice last year.

“Last night, a girl flew over a photographer’s head,” Joulwan said Sunday. “Every once in a while, you see people go into the audience.”

The scene also features rock ‘n’ roll music and brutal takedowns by skaters in fishnet stockings with derby names such as “Reyna Terror,” “Bettie Rage” and “Agatha Frisky.”

“I like alternative sports,” said Greg Scott, a fan from Minneapolis who came to Austin for the tournament. “It’s more exciting. All kinds of stuff can happen.”

Although the Kansas City Roller Warriors rolled away with the title, the Rollergirls’ Lara Bell said that might not be such a bad thing.

“It means it’s a real sport when we don’t win anymore,” said Bell, whose derby name is “Lucille Brawl.”

“We’re passing it on.”

pgeorge@statesman.com; 445-3851

128 – Texas Roller Girls (Austin)
67 – Houston Roller Derby Hardknocks

thecolonel@colonelpod.com

A picture of E.P. Sara at the Governor’s cup.

She is being treated at Schwab Rehabilitation Center on the South Side of Chicago. She has partial use of just one arm and no use of her legs. But she has feeling in her limbs.

A trust has been set up in her name to pay for her medical bills.

North Community Bank
c/o The Tahirah Johnson Trust
Attn: Amber Barnhill
1555 N. Damen
Chicago, IL 60622

57 – Alamo City Las Tejanas
144 – Assassination City Special Ops

114 – Houston Roller Derby Hardknocks
90 – Dallas Derby Devils Travel Team

141 – Texas Roller Girls (Austin)
52 – Assassination City Special Ops

Stay tuned for the second half of the Governor’s Cup Review!

thecolonel@colonelpod.com

There was no coverage of the final scores, since it went so late. Just coverage of the event.

Here’s the article:

Roller derby all-stars hit to win

Sept. 17, 2007, 3:10PM
By CAROLYN FEIBEL
Copyright 2007 Houston Chronicle
carolyn.feibel@chron.com

Recipe for a roller derby, Texas-style: take a rockabilly fashion sense, skate punk athleticism, and a feminist, grass-roots work ethic. Put the whole thing on old-school quad roller skates, add a dollop of nostalgia, and you have the latest incarnation of a uniquely American sport.

On Sunday, five all-women teams from Texas met up for the Governor’s Cup championship bout at Verizon Wireless Theater. Spectators cheered the local all-star team, the “HaRD KNOCKS,” as they faced off against last year’s champion, the Dallas Derby Devils.

In flat track derby, five skaters¹ from each team circle in a “pack,” trying to block and slam opponents to prevent the opposing “jammer” from scoring by passing the pack. It’s rough, fast and can send skaters skidding into the fans.

“It’s fun to watch somebody come around the corner and give someone a clean shot up into the crowd,” said Charlie Marken, 51, of Pearland.

Marken and his wife are season ticket holders for the Houston league, which is in its second season.

“We came just as a joke, kind of to see, but we got to know some of the girls,” he said.

Marken said he likes the amateur authenticity of roller derby. Pro football and baseball, with its swollen salaries and steroid scandals, have turned him off.

“These girls are just out there for the love of sport,” Marken said.

In Sunday’s first bout, the “Assassination City Special Ops” team from Dallas beat “Las Tejanas” from San Antonio, 144-57. Houston’s own HaRD KNOCKS were slated to compete later Sunday evening. An Austin team and another Dallas team also competed.

Technically a team sport, roller derby offers each skater lots of chances to flaunt her individual style through the adoption of a derby nickname and persona.

Player names such as Mary Choppins, Choko Ono, Grudge Judy, and Strawberry Deathcake indicate the strange mix of flirty aggression and cultural playfulness that defines the sport.

“You definitely want a pun, something that plays off something else, but something that also defines you as a skater,” said Stacy Williams, 35, a black player who chose the name “Death by Chocolate.”

“It’s such an aggression release,” Williams said. “You get on your skates and you hit people and people hit you and you learn you can take that.”

The “hits” are really regulated body checks, with strict rules defining which body parts can be used in a block. Tripping, pushing and fighting are strictly prohibited by a graded penalty system.

The women seem to enjoy the opportunity to be tough, while remaining unabashedly sexy.

“It’s a fresh sport and you see hot, powerful women on wheels,” said Misty “Mistilla the Killa” Moody. The 31-year-old is a lighting designer by day and the league’s trainer by night.

Some skaters came to the sport from the rockabilly or punk music scene, while others simply are athletes looking for a new extreme sport. What they all have in common, however, is a “slight insanity,” said Joy Wallis, who plays as “Tinkerhell” for the Austin league. The national derby revival began in Austin in 2001, and has grown to more than 40 all-female leagues across the country.

“You have to be willing to sacrifice your body, your life,” Wallis said. “It’s about finding that little thing you didn’t know you had inside and getting it out there.”

¹ – I always expect some odd factual errors in media coverage. This is a minor one. I’d count it as: there are 4 skaters from each team in the pack, while the 5th (the jammer) tries to lap them.

Elle McFierce and Goldie Bloxx join The Colonel and Bill Shirley in discussion about the upcoming Governor’s Cup. Five teams will be competing all day for the trophy.

thecolonel@colonelpod.com

Elle McFierce joins Bill Shirley as they discuss the last bout of the first season for the Battleground Roller Derby. The Colonel shows up toward the end to try to stoke some chatter.

http://battlegroundrd.com/

The Colonel
Airstream Trailer
Marfa, TX 79843

The Colonel gives you the low down on the Brawler loss to the Bosses and his opinion about boots. Reminder of the Luau and upcoming Governor’s Cup.

thecolonel@colonelpod.com

I don’t speak Hawaiian.

The Colonel discusses the Sirens (3-1) defeat of the Betties (1-3). Blabs for a while, then reminds you about a fundraiser luau at the West Alabama Ice House.

trailer music:
Big Robert Smith with the El Orbits & Friends – Live @ Houston’s Continental Club
Sunday, August 26, 3pm – 6pm
CD Release and Listening Party
Sig’s Lagoon, 3714 Main Street

thecolonel@colonelpod.com

Cached here for posterity:

Violent femmes

Women’s football and roller derby leagues give sports fans something else to cheer about

By MARK LOWRY
Star-Telegram staff writer

For a region that prides itself on athletics, there aren’t a whole lot of chances to see women’s professional team sports in North Texas. Strangely, we don’t have a Women’s United Soccer Association team or a Women’s National Basketball Association team.

What we do have, though, are a three-time championship Women’s Professional Football League team, the Dallas Diamonds, whose home season kicks off this week; and two roller derby leagues, both of which are winding down their seasons.

So now is a good time to look at the two rough-and-tumble contact sports, which star heavily padded women who aren’t afraid to break a nail — not to mention an opponent’s bones and/or spirit.

Derby does Dallas

The leagues: North Texas has two roller derby leagues. The Dallas Derby Devils, founded in 2004, play at Forum Roller World in Grand Prairie; the Assassination City Roller Derby is in its second season at a Garland rink. Both leagues are made up of several teams, with players from all over the Metroplex, and are members of the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association (visit www.wftda.com).

The teams: For this story, we focused on the Derby Devils, which claim to be the largest flat-track derby league in the South, with about 100 active skaters. This Saturday’s playoffs pit the Slaughterers against the Suicide Shifters; and the Wrecking Crew against the High Seas Hotties. At the championship game Sept. 8, the winners of those two games will face off for first and second place in the league; the two losing teams play for third and fourth place.

The game: Flat-track derby means that the action happens on a skating-rink floor, with the boundaries marked off with rope lights. Between the outer boundary of the oval track and the spectators is a 10-foot space. This is to protect the fans, as players who are knocked out of bounds sometimes crash into the audience.

Teams have five players on the track during each “jam”: one pivot (or pace-setter), three blockers and one jammer. The jammers score a point for each member of the opponent’s team she passes, without going out of bounds. The blockers, of course, try to keep the jammers from doing this.

Injuries do happen. At one July game, medics came to the track four times. In each case, the player eventually got up and walked off. Sometimes, though, players are carried off with concussions or neck or knee injuries. Donations are accepted for the “injured skater fund.”

The players: What’s great about roller derby is that teams and players go all-out creating their look. The Slaughterers, for instance, wear blood-splattered aprons, while some players add horns, devil tails or fishnet stockings to their outfits. Player nicknames get very creative, like “June Carter Crash,” “Ann R. Key” and “Pummela Slamderson.” Even better are the jersey numbers, which range from the traditional to off-kilter picks such as .44 and 2 r . Slaughterer LaShawn Sykes, for instance, goes by the name “Hard Drive” and sports the number 00100100.

Although the women knock into each other during the game, there is a lot of camaraderie between the teams. “At the end of the day, we’re drinking a beer together,” said 26-year-old Hottie “Barooski.” “That’s not to say there aren’t catfights sometimes.”

Adding to the excitement are entertaining announcers with names such as “Dawn Diamond” and “Bankshot,” and a mistress of the rink, if you will, known as “Vanna Fright.”

The crowd: Typically, more than 1,000 people attend, and it’s an odd mix of demographics. Heavy on the tattooed set, though.

Halftime: Denton-based wrestling league XCW hosts three bouts, with a ring set up in the far corner of the rink. Gotta say, after watching it close up, it looks more cheesily choreographed than the big-league wrestling stuff you see on TV.

Good to know: At the Devils events, it’s BYOB. Bring your coolers with any kind of alcohol, but not in glass containers. Concessions with food, soda and water are also available.

There are some bleachers set up on either end of the track, but it’s best if you bring your own collapsible chair. Get there early to stake out a good spot. Derby regulars know that the most crashes happen on the second and fourth turns. Some even make pyramids of their empty beer cans, hoping a derby girl will knock them down.

Dallas Derby Devils

7:30 p.m. Saturday
Forum Roller World
1900 S. Great Southwest Parkway
Grand Prairie
$12-$15
972-641-0661; www.derbydevils.com
Championship game: Sept. 8

Assassination City Roller Derby
7:20 p.m. Sunday
Texas Skatium
2020 Rowlett Road
Garland
$10-$15
972-240-6455; www.acderby.com
Championship game: Sept. 9

Diamonds in the rough

The league: The Women’s Professional Football League, founded in 1999 with two teams, now has 16 teams representing 12 states. In the league’s eight seasons, Texas teams have won the championship six times: The Houston Energy took consecutive titles in 2000-02, while our Dallas Diamonds have reigned the past three years.

Diamonds are a Houston girl’s best fiend: Not only have the Diamonds won three years running, they’ve only lost one game in three seasons. That was a September 2006 loss to Houston.

As you can imagine, Dallas and Houston are the biggest rivalry in the league, which is why the home opener against the Energy shouldn’t be missed.

The team: The Diamonds have 43 rostered players, led by head coaches Mikal Black and Todd Hughes. This year, the team moves to a new venue, Pennington Field at Texas 183 and Central Drive in Bedford.

The players: Like the women of the roller derby, the football women are mostly professionals by day who tear up the field at night. Our Diamonds cover girls include Ingrid Mitchell, 42, the 5-foot-10-inch, 265-pound defensive player nicknamed “Tiny.” During the day, Mitchell works with mentally challenged people, and says she enjoys the competition and workout the game offers. The blonde is rookie receiver Danilynn Welniak, 18, who postponed taking a scholarship to study marine biology at the University of Hawaii to play a year with the Diamonds.

The women play for many reasons. According to Diamonds general manager Shelley Burnson, one signed up a few years ago because she had several young kids and “wanted to let out some aggression.”

The game: It follows the same rules as the NFL, played on a 100-yard field, full tackle.

The crowd: Crowd sizes average about 2,500, says Burnson. Again, you can spot a cross section of types in the bleachers, although it’s largely a family event. This year, the Diamonds plan to have a bounce house and other activities for kids at certain games, and are planning a faith-based night.

And yes, we know that a lot of you guys out there are saying “women, football – yeah, right.”

When the teams are somewhat evenly matched, these games can be as exciting as those in the pro boys’ club.

“Once we get you there, you’re hooked,” Burnson says.

Good to know: You cannot bring food, beverages, coolers, glass containers or backpacks into the stadium, but concessions are available. There have been reports of tailgating before Diamonds games. Also, for the first time, the national championships will be played here this year. Can we expect another Dallas-Houston smackdown? Count on it.

Dallas Diamonds vs. Houston Energy
7 p.m. Saturday
Pennington Field
1501 Central Drive
Bedford
$7-$10
817-690-3126; www.dallasdiamondsfootball.com

Future home games
Sept 8: vs. SoCal Scorpions
Sept. 22: vs. New Mexico Burn
Oct. 6: vs. Las Vegas Showgirlz

mlowry@star-telegram.com
Mark Lowry, 817-390-7747

thecolonel@colonelpod.com

thecolonel@colonelpod.com

70 Hot Rod Honeys – 79 Hell Marys
78 Hustlers – 25 Honky Tonk Heartbreakers

The Colonel checks in from Marfa after a stop in Austin for the Texas Roller Girls’ Championship – Hell Marys win. He discusses a controversial loss of jammer-insignia while skating.

Despite the use of 1970s technology, it’s almost comprehensible.

thecolonel@colonelpod.com

The Colonel discusses his shortened viewing of the second bout for Battleground Roller Derby. He manages to not mention the team names: Queens of D’Nile and Bombshell Bruisers. And I dug for it, but couldn’t find a final score. Also, some discussion of upcoming HRD tryouts and speed skating national championships.

http://battlegroundrd.com

thecolonel@colonelpod.com

The Psych Ward Sirens (2-1) defeated the Burlesque Brawlers (0-3) in a playful and fun-to-watch bout. The Colonel and Bill discuss upcoming mid-season try outs, and the Battleground Roller Derby Bout this coming Sunday.

thecolonel@colonelpod.com